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You can ask a question here, and it will posted on the website. Confidentiality is guaranteed. No e-mail addresses will be used. When asking for advice, use ficticious names. If you would like some advice but don't want it posted on the site, click here and put "Private" in the subject line.
Return To Old Job?
- Published Yesterday
- General
I need advise regarding my career. I work in bpo. I was into calling. A few months back, I got good opportunity, so I left calling and joined a back office. However, I'm not happy working here. Colleagues are pain to work with. Please advise. Should I leave the company, and go back to my previous company, or continue?
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
It's hard to go back to something unless you truly miss it in your soul. You want to enjoy your work, if you can't love it, and you'd have to sure that returning to your old job gave you a sigh of relief, a smile on your face and, maybe, a future. People can be a pain to work around -- there's no doubt about it. Here you are, with people you don't pick out, but yet you have to work with them all day. It makes you question what life is all about! Again, make sure your old job is not just a band-aid on a restless mind. Even if you did return, consider taking classes at night to get a degree, if you don't already have one, and pursue a career through education. You have your whole life ahead of you to work, and if you can find your passion, and get paid for it, you come out the winner.
Anniversary Gift Dilemma
- Published 02/4/2012
- General
Okay, so I bought an i-phone 4s for my boyfriend. It's a present for our 2nd anniversary. The problem is that my parents don't know about this (I bought it with MY money). I know that if I tell them, they would kill me. But my bf really doesn't have any money, and I just want him to be happy. The problem is that i feel really bad because my parents have always trusted in me, and I tell them everything -- so I do not know what to do. I either give my bf the present, and not tell my parents, or sell the i phone to a friend and get back the money. Please help me!
----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
If you give it to him, I have two concerns: You're going to have to make sure he keeps his mouth shut about the gift, doesn't slip up, and neither will anyone else! That's going to hang over your head, and it takes the joy out of the gift. Personally, I see no reason why you can't give him the gift you want with your money, but your parents have their reason to object. Concern 2: The phone is one thing, but you can't put it under your name, and possibly be stuck with the bills. He is the one who would have to connect it, pay the upfront fees, and have it in his name only (if he doesn't already have an account with the company associated with the phone). If not, were something to happen to the relationship, and even if he's broke (like you say he is), you'll be obligated to pay the bill were the account in your name, or pay a huge amount to buy yourself out of the contract. If all this seems too much for you, I'd sell the phone, or return it, and get him something that's not fraught with this much anxiety.
icertified.net problem
- Published 01/31/2012
- General
"M" you sent me an e-mail wanting a "private" reply, but Yahoo will not send them to icertified.net. I get them returned to me as undelivered. Unless you give me permission to post my advice, my hands are tied.
Teen Girl Wants Acting Career
- Published 01/22/2012
- General
I am a junior in high school, and my dream is to become an actress. I'm thinking about applying to Juilliard once I'm a senior, but I'm afraid I won't get accepted. Also, if I do get into Juilliard, I'm afraid that my future would be crap because I never amounted to anything, and I just blew off all this money on this school to not become anything. So I need some advice. I'm afraid of being a failure in life, so what should I do ? Also, I am torn betweem Juilliard and Five Towns College. Tell me what you think of these colleges, and which one is the right one for me. Thanks : Signed : Scared of future.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
Your attitude, in a word, sucks, and you won't make it based on that alone. Getting into the acting world, besides having the talent, means you have to accept (with dignity) being rejected for a part, only to get up the next day and try all over again. I know a lot of people who are talented, but the difference between making it, and not making it, is the courage and drive it takes to get there. Assuming you're capable of an attitude adjustment, Julliard accepts applicants who are skilled performers, and have tremendous ambition. It's highly competitive, and requires an audtion. Although fear of failure may be deeply embedded in the person pursuing a performing career (or any career for that matter), it can't be the overriding concern. Be realistic about your goals, and understand that the journey is equally as important as the goal. You must work very hard, you will learn much along the way, but you need to commit in time and effort in order to lead you to where you want to be. If you're not up for it, don't bother. Five Towns College, on Long Island, looks okay on the Internet, but I don't think it's on the same level as Julliard. There are many universities and colleges to consider, and the time to start looking is now.
Sister's Unreasonable Request?
- Published 01/10/2012
- General
Dear Miss Emily:
My sister moved into my house several months ago. She found a boyfriend and wants to have him sleep over some nights. I told her it makes me uncomfortable. We are both in our early 60's. She thinks i am being unreasonable. I can't be objective. What do you think?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
It's your home, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, put your foot down. I have a feeling that if you allow it once, it won't just become "on an occasion", it will happen often -- and then your house is invaded by a stranger, and a man you may not even like. When you allow a precedent to be set, it's awfully hard to change it without being taken to task. My advice is to not set the precedent in order to avoid being put in the awkward position of having to end the arrangement, once it's begun.
"Alpha" E-mail And Wrong Address
- Published 01/10/2012
- General
You sent me an e-mail marked private, but your address was incorrect, and my reply was returned. Please resend your request for advice. Thanks, Emily
Still Playing Catch up!
- Published 01/4/2012
- General
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
- Published 12/31/2011
- General
I AM TAKING THE WEEKEND OFF. PLEASE BE PATIENT. I WILL GET TO YOUR LETTERS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. THANKS, EMILY
Christmas Gift Falls Flat
- Published 12/29/2011
- General
I need advice on what to do in the following situation: My boyfriend bought me for Xmas a piece furniture he thought would look cool in my (small, studio) apartment. The problem is: A) My place is exactly how I want it. I am an amateur interior designer, and I don't need extra furniture. B) What he got is not even my style, and I have no place (dark corner) in the apt to at least keep it. C) He has put so much effort into it and it breaks my heart to tell him, it was a BIG MISTAKE, and I want that thing out of my home! When I opened it, I tried to be gracious, but he could tell I didn't like it. I said I would think about it to make him feel better, but I really already know there is no way I will keep it. How do I break it to him nicely? Thank you.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
There may be a woman on the planet who would stick it in a prominent place, and suck it up, but that wouldn't be me. I would not want to, say... put a Barcalounger in a room filled with french country! He really missed the memo that said you are proud of the way you've decorated, and you wouldn't change a thing. You can be kind about it, but there's nothing you can do other than be honest. He likes it, and he will probably take it to his apartment to display it proudly. The problem with gift giving is that people often choose what they would like to receive (their taste), rather than being insightful as to what the person receiving the gift would truly appreciate. Other than this oversight, I hope he's a great guy, and perfect for you.
Christmas Slight?
- Published 12/28/2011
- General
Dear Miss Emily:
My dad is dying with ALS. I try to visit him at least twice a month with my one year old. This Christmas, his wife decided to have a party on Christmas day. We had plans that day, so we asked if we could come by on Christmas eve to visit. I got verbally scolded by my step mom, because we came over on a different day than the party. She said some awful things and, basically, made me and my dad cry a lot. It was so hurtful seeing him cry when he is so sick. Were we wrong to come over on x-mas eve, instead of x-mas day? Does it make a difference? This was the worst day of my life.
-----------------Miss Emily's advice-------------I wonder why your stepmother would have a party when your dad is this sick. That seems truly insensitive to me, and I hope he was capable of being in a festive mood. But, no, I don't think you did anything wrong. Seeing your dad within the Christmas time frame was the most important thing, and the success of the party should not have been dependent on you being there. I am sure your stepmother is stressed (and maybe wanted you to help with the party) but, for everyone's sake, I hope this blows over soon. What was horribly wrong about this mess is that your stepmother aired her discontent in front of your father -- a man who deserved to be left in the dark. To do this means the slight was all about her, and little to do with your father's feelings.


