My fiance and I have been engaged for four months now. We are happily tra la la in love. Things are going smooth and I have NEVER been this happy with a man in my life. Here is the sitch. Before he and I met, he had dated a female for a month and they broke up because of a ultamatum she posed on him and he left. Fast forward to a month later, he and I started dating. Things were great until she started texting him saying she misses him deeply and she was sorry that she wasn't enough for him, and that she has been crying constantly. Her friends would come to my fiance at his work to tell him how miserable she is, asking why I am a better woman than her and blah blah blah (my fiance would show me each text she sent and I've witnessed her friend talking to him and he would tell me later whats going on). So, my fiance had texted her and said, "If you can not respect my relationship with my girlfriend, I do not want you talking to me". Cool...that ended it surprisingly. Double fast forward to five months later. She found out we were engaged. Here comes the waterworks, tickets for a guilt trip and an invite to a pity party. But seriously now, this is what she wrote to him. She starts off by saying "I guess I will try this 'being "friends" ' thing" She states that she has a great job now, she is doing all of the things that they had planned to do. She's buying a house and dating someone. I'm like, 'thank goodness!' BUT, she continued. She said that she can not force herself to love the man she is with because she still loves and misses my fiance. She said that she had a pregnancy scare and all she could think of was her and my fiance buying a house together and having kids. She continued on to say that she hopes that I can make him happy since she couldn't. Woe is me, woe is me blah blah blah. She misses him and he is all that she can think of. Now, at this point I am boiling because he has been told to stop this and just be regular friends. I don't mind him having female friends at all but this chick is pushing it. When I discussed my feelings with my fiance, he brought it to my attention that I have male friends -- which I do, but they are not trying to get with me nor are they wishing that their partners are me. I kindly asked him to remove her completely from his life, again, and he said no and that I have to trust him. I let him know that I trust him with all of my heart, but my gut is saying something different because I don't trust HER. I tried explaining to him that she is only trying to make him feel sorry for her so that he can second guess his choice in leaving her and come back to her after he 'sees' how much she loves him. It's an old trick. I asked him how would he think the 'boyfriend' (if there is one) would feel if he read this. He said, "I don't know...it's just bizarre" But he won't relieve her of her 'friend' duty. We are scheduled to start our Pre-marital counseling sessions next week (August 14), but I need advice NOW. This is tearing me up, and I need advice on what I can do. Am I being overly sensitive, or is he being 'weird'. How about the 'friend'...what would you do? Any piece of advice is appreciated.

----------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------------------------

I'll tell you what I think your pre-marital counselor will tell you, next week -- and that is this: This woman needs to be out of his life -- completely. She's not a friend but, rather, a predator who's in love with your fiance! And if he's not willing to cut her out of his life, completely, you and he don't have a snowball's chance in hell of making this marriage work -- because he's showing no guts, and no honor. He was with this girl for a month (I've had eggs in the frig for longer than that), and she is not only selfish and immature but has an incredible lack of decency and, I venture to say, a screw loose. I feel for her new boyfriend, but I feel worse for you. If your fiance doesn't understand that it is you who must come first in your relationship with him, he's not the man you think he is. This is not just "bizarre" as he put it, but a blatant inability to do the right thing. I am amazed that you have put up with the situation for this long. You're one hell of a woman, and I'm not sure he deserves you.