- Home
- Relationships - Teens
- Losing A First Love
Losing A First Love
- By Miss Emily
- Published 08/9/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
About 3 months ago, me and my boyfriend broke up. I was with him since I was 15 and I'm now nearly 18. I still really love him and still want to be in a relationship with him but he says he doesn't want to be in one right now and that he needs to experiment, and be with other people for a change. He said that I am the right girl for him, but we just met too young. But I'm afraid I'll loose him especially since a girl he's seeing now wants a relationship with him, when he's ready. and he says he likes her. It kills me to think that she's now the person he cares about, and who's there to talk to him all the time. Ive been really depressed these past few weeks, and nothing seems to make me happy anymore without him. I hang out with friends and it makes me feel better, but my boyfriend was my best friend so I feel like I lost twice as much. Everyone's told me to move on. and I know I should, especially as he's told me he doesn't want to be with me. but I feel so low all the time and feel like I'm not as good as the girl he's with now. I wish things could go back to the way they were, but I know they won't. Do you have any advice that can help?
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
This is a heartbreaking experience, and I get many letters of this type. (Please read the following letter.). There isn't anything you can do but play it out with all the emotional downs, and occasional ups, as time soldiers on. Try your hardest to maintain a friendship with him (if he allows it), as difficult as that will be to do. Keep an objective, open mind, and show him that you are developing some independence. Right now, there's no telling how it will end up. But please don't let him see you as pathetic in any way. You want him to maintain an image of you as the wonderful person you are -- who is self-assured, and emotionally strong (fake that last part if you must). Time will help if you do end up going your separate ways, permanently and, as hard as it is to see, now, many wonderful opportunities await you when you are free to open your heart to them.
About 3 months ago, me and my boyfriend broke up. I was with him since I was 15 and I'm now nearly 18. I still really love him and still want to be in a relationship with him but he says he doesn't want to be in one right now and that he needs to experiment, and be with other people for a change. He said that I am the right girl for him, but we just met too young. But I'm afraid I'll loose him especially since a girl he's seeing now wants a relationship with him, when he's ready. and he says he likes her. It kills me to think that she's now the person he cares about, and who's there to talk to him all the time. Ive been really depressed these past few weeks, and nothing seems to make me happy anymore without him. I hang out with friends and it makes me feel better, but my boyfriend was my best friend so I feel like I lost twice as much. Everyone's told me to move on. and I know I should, especially as he's told me he doesn't want to be with me. but I feel so low all the time and feel like I'm not as good as the girl he's with now. I wish things could go back to the way they were, but I know they won't. Do you have any advice that can help?
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
This is a heartbreaking experience, and I get many letters of this type. (Please read the following letter.). There isn't anything you can do but play it out with all the emotional downs, and occasional ups, as time soldiers on. Try your hardest to maintain a friendship with him (if he allows it), as difficult as that will be to do. Keep an objective, open mind, and show him that you are developing some independence. Right now, there's no telling how it will end up. But please don't let him see you as pathetic in any way. You want him to maintain an image of you as the wonderful person you are -- who is self-assured, and emotionally strong (fake that last part if you must). Time will help if you do end up going your separate ways, permanently and, as hard as it is to see, now, many wonderful opportunities await you when you are free to open your heart to them.
