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Sixteen And Brokenhearted
- By Miss Emily
- Published 08/9/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
So i started dating my best friend of 5 years. I tell her EVERYTHING, there's no one in the world that I care about or love or trust as much as i do her. But she ended our relationship after 5 months,when everything was perfect, there was nothing wrong with us. She admits that we were perfect and that shes deeply in love with me and cares about me more than anything on this earth. Were only 16 but we can both honestly say we wouldn't mind being together forever. But she doesn't think shes ready for a serious relationship and im just dumbfounded. The problem is that we still talk now, we back on that best friend level n i dont wanna be there. I mean we both tell each other how were so in love. We even talk about building a future together one day.But every time i bring up the topic of us getting back together she bursts into tears and tells me how she just cant right now, and I'm just going crazy. I'm madly in love with her and i know she is madly in love with me. I just want her to be mine again,i don't want anyone else to have her. But she just says the same ole we just cant rite now. It really pisses me off when she talks about other dudes all the time, n tries to hide her feelings from me.She wont even hang out with me anymore, because she knows well end up kissing and things of that nature. Which already happened once and we ended up sleeping together. Which she says isn't right since were not dating. So all we do is talk on the phone everyday all day. I'm scared that all this love will eventually go away and we wont ever have our happiness together.I just don't know what to do, i don't want to get over her,shes the best thing to ever happen to me.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
My heart goes out to you. It really does. You seem like an incredibly bright guy, and a catch. But sixteen is too young for some people to get this deeply involved, and that's simply the way she feels. Even if you did stay with her to the intensity you want, it's possible that somewhere down the line she (and maybe you) would want to experience more from life, because this is all you and she would have known -- and maybe at the time when college comes around. That said, I am firmly aware some of these early romances (highs school sweethearts) can last a lifetime. I have known a few couples who have wonderfully happy marriages because they were best friends from day one, and early in their lives. But she's having doubts, now, and all you can do is back off on the intensity and stop trying to persuade her to think otherwise. The pressure will only work against you. Allow her to do this without laying a guilt trip, yet try to maintain the friendship as long as she's willing to put effort into it. Who knows what will happen down the line. But if she gets the space she wants, now, and you are patient, perhaps she will be eager to revisit this relationship in the future because it seems like everyone's dream.
So i started dating my best friend of 5 years. I tell her EVERYTHING, there's no one in the world that I care about or love or trust as much as i do her. But she ended our relationship after 5 months,when everything was perfect, there was nothing wrong with us. She admits that we were perfect and that shes deeply in love with me and cares about me more than anything on this earth. Were only 16 but we can both honestly say we wouldn't mind being together forever. But she doesn't think shes ready for a serious relationship and im just dumbfounded. The problem is that we still talk now, we back on that best friend level n i dont wanna be there. I mean we both tell each other how were so in love. We even talk about building a future together one day.But every time i bring up the topic of us getting back together she bursts into tears and tells me how she just cant right now, and I'm just going crazy. I'm madly in love with her and i know she is madly in love with me. I just want her to be mine again,i don't want anyone else to have her. But she just says the same ole we just cant rite now. It really pisses me off when she talks about other dudes all the time, n tries to hide her feelings from me.She wont even hang out with me anymore, because she knows well end up kissing and things of that nature. Which already happened once and we ended up sleeping together. Which she says isn't right since were not dating. So all we do is talk on the phone everyday all day. I'm scared that all this love will eventually go away and we wont ever have our happiness together.I just don't know what to do, i don't want to get over her,shes the best thing to ever happen to me.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
My heart goes out to you. It really does. You seem like an incredibly bright guy, and a catch. But sixteen is too young for some people to get this deeply involved, and that's simply the way she feels. Even if you did stay with her to the intensity you want, it's possible that somewhere down the line she (and maybe you) would want to experience more from life, because this is all you and she would have known -- and maybe at the time when college comes around. That said, I am firmly aware some of these early romances (highs school sweethearts) can last a lifetime. I have known a few couples who have wonderfully happy marriages because they were best friends from day one, and early in their lives. But she's having doubts, now, and all you can do is back off on the intensity and stop trying to persuade her to think otherwise. The pressure will only work against you. Allow her to do this without laying a guilt trip, yet try to maintain the friendship as long as she's willing to put effort into it. Who knows what will happen down the line. But if she gets the space she wants, now, and you are patient, perhaps she will be eager to revisit this relationship in the future because it seems like everyone's dream.
