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My Husband And My Girlfriend
- By Miss Emily
- Published 08/3/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My best friend came to stay with me this past weekend...we had a blast. We have been friends for 12 years. We now live about 8 hours apart. My husband of about 2 years (known for 10 years) whom I am pregnant by and have a 6 year old with, was so very nice to my friend while she was in town. They planned a big surprise birthday party for me and were great! Well, the last night she was here, she claimed that he came into her room and reached his hand completely under her blanket touched her leg and she asked what he was doing. He said sleepwalking and walked out....I AM SHOCKED!!!! She was in my daughter's room whom her daddy ADORES. Our daughter and him have the best relationship you could possibly imagine. Of course he denies it and says she (my friend) was begging him to give her Xanax pills all weekend, so he gave them to her and was in her ROOM in the middle of the night to try and get money from her (that just sounds crazy to me). He doesn't deny going in there, but denies touching her at all. My friend does have a pill addiction bad, and lies to us all about it. He says she texted his phone all weekend asking him for them. I am surely mad he never told me and am so unsure of why HE really went in there. I feel like he thought maybe she would hide the pills from me....maybe she would hide more. He swears on everything holy and all that he didn't do this. She has a history of lying, yet I can't imagine her lying to me about something soooo serious, to ruin my life and my child's life. Could she have been messed up and imagined it....gosh that is so far fetched, but I can't -- and am shocked to believe he would do that IN OUR CHILD'S BED!!! God please help me. I don't know that I will make it through this! I am pregnant and very sensitive. I NEED HELP!!!!!!!! My friends all of course are immediate to blame him, but I just have this gut feeling that she lied to me about the prescription drugs and could have mistaken his intentions in there -- but why was he in there? He tells me if I believe something like that than he is done himself. My girlfriend is also very sexual and flaunts herself QUITE a bit with low cut shirts, and they all got a little tipsy that weekend and she was falling all over the place in low cute shorts letting her between the legs show with no underwear She has cheated on her husband at least 10 times since they have been married (so not the most credible but I don't understand why she would do this) and I know my husband is NOT perfect, but I can't believe this situation. It will ruin our lives and our kids lives FOREVER cause I won't stay.....how will I ever know? Please give me some straight honest advice here....I NEED HELP! This is serious and involves children and an unborn child. I am devastated and can hardly function.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------
He admitted going into the bedroom in the middle of the night to "get money from her" and that's a completely absurd story. Xanax is cheap. It's the renewal process that's dicey if it appears he's going through them like M & M's. Her addiction to pills is pathetic. In my humble opinion, and it is only my opinion, here, they both are to blame for what happened. She has an addiction she won't address, and her neediness could have put her in a position of letting your husband, mistakenly, think she would thank him in a "certain way." But you've got a baby on the way, and I suggest this: Tell your husband his story doesn't hold water, but you have no choice other than to let it go -- and if anything like this happens, again, you want him in marriage counseling, or you will strongly consider a life without him. As far as your girlfriend is concerned, this is one awkward situation you're in because where does this friendship stand concerning future visits to your home? This bell can't be un-rung, and what has happened has forced you into making a choice. Consider distancing yourself from her, or only see her on her turf without your husband. She has an addiction, flaunts her body whenever it suits her (she's horribly insecure) and, now, through her admission, has caused a fissure between you and your husband. I'm sure she thought she was doing you a favor, but at what cost? Another choice is to let them figure out how they're going to handle being around each other, now that he thinks she's a snitch, and she thinks he came on to her and lied about it making her look like a troublemaker. I prefer the former choice, because you have a lot to lose, at this point in time, if you punish your husband, indefinitely, for something that may have been a ridiculously stupid error in judgment (and that's putting it mildly) -- and it could affect your life more adversely than if you were to appear to be siding with your friend. I'm so sorry, because you are a complete innocent in this matter.
My best friend came to stay with me this past weekend...we had a blast. We have been friends for 12 years. We now live about 8 hours apart. My husband of about 2 years (known for 10 years) whom I am pregnant by and have a 6 year old with, was so very nice to my friend while she was in town. They planned a big surprise birthday party for me and were great! Well, the last night she was here, she claimed that he came into her room and reached his hand completely under her blanket touched her leg and she asked what he was doing. He said sleepwalking and walked out....I AM SHOCKED!!!! She was in my daughter's room whom her daddy ADORES. Our daughter and him have the best relationship you could possibly imagine. Of course he denies it and says she (my friend) was begging him to give her Xanax pills all weekend, so he gave them to her and was in her ROOM in the middle of the night to try and get money from her (that just sounds crazy to me). He doesn't deny going in there, but denies touching her at all. My friend does have a pill addiction bad, and lies to us all about it. He says she texted his phone all weekend asking him for them. I am surely mad he never told me and am so unsure of why HE really went in there. I feel like he thought maybe she would hide the pills from me....maybe she would hide more. He swears on everything holy and all that he didn't do this. She has a history of lying, yet I can't imagine her lying to me about something soooo serious, to ruin my life and my child's life. Could she have been messed up and imagined it....gosh that is so far fetched, but I can't -- and am shocked to believe he would do that IN OUR CHILD'S BED!!! God please help me. I don't know that I will make it through this! I am pregnant and very sensitive. I NEED HELP!!!!!!!! My friends all of course are immediate to blame him, but I just have this gut feeling that she lied to me about the prescription drugs and could have mistaken his intentions in there -- but why was he in there? He tells me if I believe something like that than he is done himself. My girlfriend is also very sexual and flaunts herself QUITE a bit with low cut shirts, and they all got a little tipsy that weekend and she was falling all over the place in low cute shorts letting her between the legs show with no underwear She has cheated on her husband at least 10 times since they have been married (so not the most credible but I don't understand why she would do this) and I know my husband is NOT perfect, but I can't believe this situation. It will ruin our lives and our kids lives FOREVER cause I won't stay.....how will I ever know? Please give me some straight honest advice here....I NEED HELP! This is serious and involves children and an unborn child. I am devastated and can hardly function.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------
He admitted going into the bedroom in the middle of the night to "get money from her" and that's a completely absurd story. Xanax is cheap. It's the renewal process that's dicey if it appears he's going through them like M & M's. Her addiction to pills is pathetic. In my humble opinion, and it is only my opinion, here, they both are to blame for what happened. She has an addiction she won't address, and her neediness could have put her in a position of letting your husband, mistakenly, think she would thank him in a "certain way." But you've got a baby on the way, and I suggest this: Tell your husband his story doesn't hold water, but you have no choice other than to let it go -- and if anything like this happens, again, you want him in marriage counseling, or you will strongly consider a life without him. As far as your girlfriend is concerned, this is one awkward situation you're in because where does this friendship stand concerning future visits to your home? This bell can't be un-rung, and what has happened has forced you into making a choice. Consider distancing yourself from her, or only see her on her turf without your husband. She has an addiction, flaunts her body whenever it suits her (she's horribly insecure) and, now, through her admission, has caused a fissure between you and your husband. I'm sure she thought she was doing you a favor, but at what cost? Another choice is to let them figure out how they're going to handle being around each other, now that he thinks she's a snitch, and she thinks he came on to her and lied about it making her look like a troublemaker. I prefer the former choice, because you have a lot to lose, at this point in time, if you punish your husband, indefinitely, for something that may have been a ridiculously stupid error in judgment (and that's putting it mildly) -- and it could affect your life more adversely than if you were to appear to be siding with your friend. I'm so sorry, because you are a complete innocent in this matter.
