I'm a wodow of 2 years.  I've been conversing by phone with a widower in another state for 1 1/2 years, since the day after his wife died. We talk almost daily by phone and have long, fun conversations.  I have the opportunity to date someone local and want to know if I should tell my phone friend.  He would be my first choice to date, but I don't know how he feels about it.  I need some advice, please.

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------

After 1 1/2 years of conversing, you should have a better handle on his intentions. But that said, I see no reason to rock the boat for now. Say nothing, date the local man and see how it goes. If something happens to spark your interest with this new man, then you can tell your phone friend you have started to date. I do not see this as an act of betrayal because you only have a friendship at this point, and no attempt at moving beyond that has been initiated by either you or him. Let me know how it goes.