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Mom's Cheating Again
- By Miss Emily
- Published 07/26/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My mom is getting married in August to a wonderful man. They are passionately in love and constantly remind each other of it. My parents divorced because she cheated on my dad. That is why i looked at her text messages when she left one day with out her phone. She had never been known to just stay with one guy, and it seemed too good to be true so i checked the messages. Sure enough, she is having an affair with another man. I have heard her talk of him before, but it was a while ago. The messages they send to each other are very sexual and gross. The man she is marrying is a great guy, and i don't want her to ruin him, like she did my dad. What do i do?
-----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
If you are sure the messages are from another man and they are current you, obviously, have two choices: risk severing your relationship with your mother if you go to her fiance with proof (and you'd have to have that proof in order for him to believe you); or keep your mouth shut by minding your own business and let him find out the hard way. Now, I know you have the urge to right an wrong because your father was a victim of your mother's cheating -- and I'm not saying your mother hasn't done something dishonest by this correspondence with another man -- but, again, the facts of her situation with your dad (he may not be perfect), and her intent with the cell-phone man would have to be present for me to go to her fiance and spill the beans. Only then could I be confident that the collateral damage was worth the effort. It's possible her fiance would believe her side -- you'd have to hand over her phone to him to make any dent in his devotion to her -- if not, it could be seen as a bitter child who's looking for payback .As far as damaging your relationship with your mother, weigh how that will affect your future -- in all respects.
My mom is getting married in August to a wonderful man. They are passionately in love and constantly remind each other of it. My parents divorced because she cheated on my dad. That is why i looked at her text messages when she left one day with out her phone. She had never been known to just stay with one guy, and it seemed too good to be true so i checked the messages. Sure enough, she is having an affair with another man. I have heard her talk of him before, but it was a while ago. The messages they send to each other are very sexual and gross. The man she is marrying is a great guy, and i don't want her to ruin him, like she did my dad. What do i do?
-----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
If you are sure the messages are from another man and they are current you, obviously, have two choices: risk severing your relationship with your mother if you go to her fiance with proof (and you'd have to have that proof in order for him to believe you); or keep your mouth shut by minding your own business and let him find out the hard way. Now, I know you have the urge to right an wrong because your father was a victim of your mother's cheating -- and I'm not saying your mother hasn't done something dishonest by this correspondence with another man -- but, again, the facts of her situation with your dad (he may not be perfect), and her intent with the cell-phone man would have to be present for me to go to her fiance and spill the beans. Only then could I be confident that the collateral damage was worth the effort. It's possible her fiance would believe her side -- you'd have to hand over her phone to him to make any dent in his devotion to her -- if not, it could be seen as a bitter child who's looking for payback .As far as damaging your relationship with your mother, weigh how that will affect your future -- in all respects.
