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Time To Split?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 07/24/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. Now i love him and
he loves me but i feel as if we shouldn't be together. I am 20 and he is
26. We live together have a joint bank account ( i know big mistake) and pets. I
tried to take a break before, and be on my own, but he wanted to get back
together and i couldnt say no. He is a very sweet and hard working guy
and most of the time he treats me wonderfully -- but he never wants to
hang out with my friends and never takes me out He is so ready to settle
down, that it is scary, and I also can't stand having sex with him. It's just
not good I'm afraid
that if i break up with him it would be a major mistake, but i feel i
need to. I just dont know how to because i love him so much. He has become my
everything, in every way. I'm just so confused and afraid of making a
major mistake. Please help!
----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
You say you love him, in that he means everything to you in every way, but that simply isn't true from what you've told me. You don't want to settle down with a guy you care a great deal for, but shows no interest in being part of your life, nor really being a couple outside the home. This whole relationship is more stale than a loaf of bread that's been sitting on the sink for six months. You have developed comfortable patterns with him in certain domestic areas, but you can do that with a sister or brother who's a roommate. One thing I know, for sure, is that you should not "settle down" with him in terms of marriage unless you get some things straightened out. If you can't stand sleeping with him, it's because he's either a lousy lover, or you just don't love him in "that way." If it's the former, he needs to know in order to work at pleasing you. There's no magic potion to fix your situation. Like everyone else who's in your position, you have to face it head-on to get the desired result you know you really want -- or put up with the status quo and be frustrated and miserable. Is this your life you're living, or his? This is a question you need to answer. I suggest a split so you can decide what's actually going on here.
----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
You say you love him, in that he means everything to you in every way, but that simply isn't true from what you've told me. You don't want to settle down with a guy you care a great deal for, but shows no interest in being part of your life, nor really being a couple outside the home. This whole relationship is more stale than a loaf of bread that's been sitting on the sink for six months. You have developed comfortable patterns with him in certain domestic areas, but you can do that with a sister or brother who's a roommate. One thing I know, for sure, is that you should not "settle down" with him in terms of marriage unless you get some things straightened out. If you can't stand sleeping with him, it's because he's either a lousy lover, or you just don't love him in "that way." If it's the former, he needs to know in order to work at pleasing you. There's no magic potion to fix your situation. Like everyone else who's in your position, you have to face it head-on to get the desired result you know you really want -- or put up with the status quo and be frustrated and miserable. Is this your life you're living, or his? This is a question you need to answer. I suggest a split so you can decide what's actually going on here.
