Dear Miss Emily:

My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year. She has this extremely frustrating habit of not talking much or expressing emotions. I, on the other hand, am very emotional and talkative. I've asked her many times if her lack of conversation is a sign she is not interested but, she assures me it isn't and simply not in her nature to talk much. Yet, she seems to talk with relative ease to her family and a couple friends. Her first language is not English and she's told me she doesn't have complete confidence in her English. However, she's spoken it for over 10 years and it's obviously good enough for us to have gotten to know each other and spark a relationship together. I've told her that being emotionally distant intensifies the challenge of a long distance relationship. I also pointed out that she hardly tells me she loves me or compliments me unless I say so first. She just tells me I think too much about it. I think it could be because she's an only child and was spoiled...which has lead to other issues regarding selfish behavior. A few months into our relationship, her ex-boyfriend tried getting back with her and a kiss happened followed by several lies to cover it up. She always claimed to resent him for constantly neglecting her and tells me I was her first love. That episode crushed me like nothing I've ever experienced. Within a month he was contacting her again and yet again she lied about it. Despite all that we remained together and she remained distant. Our plan was to finally live together this summer because things are different when we are together and we enjoy each other's company. But, she made a decision to accept a job that will keep us apart for an additional year without talking to me about it. I love her and I want to be with her but, with the distance, lack of intimacy, shaken trust and poor dialogue I wonder if this is all worth it.

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------

With the kind of doubt you have, it would be absurd to enter into any type of permanent relationship. You may have your faults (we all do) but you've described a relationship that's not only incomplete, but you have complaints (personality conflicts) that I don't think make this a match made in heaven. It's good that you and she enjoy each others company when you are in the same room, but if you can't keep up some of the momentum during your time apart, that's not a good sign. You simply want a girlfriend who is expressive, shows emotion and is truly honest. She's none of these things with you, and I wonder if it would be best to consider ending it with her.