I have a tendency to think that someone can't be used unless that person allows it. Of course, many of us have that component within us which says, "If only I hang in there, I'll get what I want." But this guy has made it clear this is nothing more than a "friends with benefits" relationship and has neither the inclination to change that, or the capability to do so. Not kissing you is his attempt to avoid passion being attached to the other sexual activity. If that doesn't tell you how he truly feels, nothing will.