Dear Miss Emily:

About 6 months ago I met this girl in unusual circumstances and we've started this unusual relationship. The unusual part of this relationship is that she can get career/monetary gains through me so I've always taken her romantic representations with a grain of salt. Anyway, she's gone overseas for an extended trip to her home country, and right before she leaves, she says "if you miss me, email me" Due to the nature of our relationship, I thought it was best to give her space so I didn't email her at all. Then I get this email from her with some light romantic representations, to the tune of "I miss you..." I send a similar email back and now I haven't got a reply.  I'm more than happy to wait in all honesty, as I'm quite serious about this girl. However my personal "experience" tells me men do better when they give their love interest space. I would've stuck to the plan but all my female friends are saying "you made her take the first step already, a step the guy should have taken, and now you expect her to "Just Reply?" Apparently the onus is now on me to confirm how important she is by contacting her to "make up" for the fact I forced her to take the first step by keeping silent for a month initially.... Do you agree? I personally don't play games during courtship and am quite upfront, and I've let her known in fairly unequivocal terms my intentions... So I'm not sures whether its necessary... As always I think its bad to be too desperate and courtship is about when to keep silent just as much as its about when to talk... So Miss Emily, your opinion would be appreciated... Should I reassure her that I would contact her even if she keeps silent? Or should I wait? Please note in our Asian culture (rashly generalizing here) the men are expected to pursue the girls in most cases....

-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------

I am confused, and I think you are as well. And it's not about who does what first -- how much space you give her, or vice versa -- but it seems to boil down to whether you can trust her! You wrote: "The unusual part of this relationship is that she can get career/monetary gains through me, so I've always taken her romantic representations with a grain of salt." But let's cut to the chase. By asking you to e-mail her if you missed her, she put the ball in your court. Under the guise of "giving her space" (which seems silly, because she didn't ask for it), you don't send a message until she e-mails you. But, I humbly think, it is all about the dance (the game), despite your thinking it really isn't. Full circle, if you seem to think she's using you because of what you can do for her, career wise, there's no point in pursuing a relationship. Trust is the cornerstone to build on -- but I also see another perspective: If she were using you, she'd be more aggressive in her approach, or am I missing something here?