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Miscommuincation Through texting
- By Miss Emily
- Published 07/5/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Emily,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year but we've been having a lot of arguments lately. I used to nag him all the time in text messages and then we'd have arguments due to the fact that we couldn't tell the tone of the other person's voice. I'd tried to stop the text arguments, as well as the nagging, but now I feel like he thinks most of the texts I send are me nagging, which makes me feel like he thinks I'm a bitch. What do i do?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
I think you want to turn back the clock. I've never been able to do that. In this case, a precedent has been set. He's pretty much programmed to receive information from you he'll automatically think is negative due to past experience (no matter your innocent intention). I hope nagging isn't part of your normal pattern, because you would first need to get to the root cause of it before you can heal this problem. But you didn't ask me about that and, so, I suggest you keep your text messages limited to things like dates and times, and information such as alerting him that you will be late -- you get the idea -- and only get personal via the cell. No one needs to text incessantly, and I was always under the impression that guys weren't all that fascinated with this avenue of communication, anyway. I think cell phones, and the ability to text are good things because they enhance our ability to communicate with each other. But like any good thing, it can reach the point of overkill and, then, defeats the purpose by becoming a weapon that destroys the very thing it was intended to do. Open communication has now morphed into a lack of communication. I'm no fan of LOL, and all the other little abbreviations people use because it's often done as a way to say what one wants without having to own it. It's a bit like the expression, "Many a truth is spoken in jest." Change is hard, but if he's worth your respect, learn to show it to him in words and deeds. Until you can do that (if ever), limit text messages and work at becoming a skillful communicator face-to-face.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year but we've been having a lot of arguments lately. I used to nag him all the time in text messages and then we'd have arguments due to the fact that we couldn't tell the tone of the other person's voice. I'd tried to stop the text arguments, as well as the nagging, but now I feel like he thinks most of the texts I send are me nagging, which makes me feel like he thinks I'm a bitch. What do i do?
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
I think you want to turn back the clock. I've never been able to do that. In this case, a precedent has been set. He's pretty much programmed to receive information from you he'll automatically think is negative due to past experience (no matter your innocent intention). I hope nagging isn't part of your normal pattern, because you would first need to get to the root cause of it before you can heal this problem. But you didn't ask me about that and, so, I suggest you keep your text messages limited to things like dates and times, and information such as alerting him that you will be late -- you get the idea -- and only get personal via the cell. No one needs to text incessantly, and I was always under the impression that guys weren't all that fascinated with this avenue of communication, anyway. I think cell phones, and the ability to text are good things because they enhance our ability to communicate with each other. But like any good thing, it can reach the point of overkill and, then, defeats the purpose by becoming a weapon that destroys the very thing it was intended to do. Open communication has now morphed into a lack of communication. I'm no fan of LOL, and all the other little abbreviations people use because it's often done as a way to say what one wants without having to own it. It's a bit like the expression, "Many a truth is spoken in jest." Change is hard, but if he's worth your respect, learn to show it to him in words and deeds. Until you can do that (if ever), limit text messages and work at becoming a skillful communicator face-to-face.
