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Too Soon To Move To Boyfriend's Town
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/27/2010
- Relationships - Women
Hi Miss Emily:
I really need some impartial advice! I met a guy 2 years ago through work and we've always been friendly (and sometimes intimate) but, last year, he moved to another state 8 hours away. About a month ago we decided we wanted to be together and to try a long distance relationship with the thought that eventually I will move to be with him. The thing is while I really love him, I have a lot to lose if I move. I know I can get a job quite easily but I worry about giving up the place I live (I love it and the rent is cheap), the security of having all my family and friends really close and the headache of moving all my stuff to another state or keeping it in storage. And then what if it doesn't work out? I plan to go and see him in a couple of weeks and then he will come and see me about 4 weeks later here. Thing is, I know he wants me to move there asap but is 6 months enough time to make him wait so I know I'm making the best decision? We really do love each other and its not just a silly crush. I know love is always a risk but I wanna know if I'm making the right decision to move in approx 6 months time. Thanks for your help.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
No, I think a six months wait is absolutely the best choice (or longer). You would be giving up a lot and, if things didn't work out, all of your concerns would have been correct, as well the need to go through the process of backtracking. You must be sure, as sure as anyone can be, that you're making the right decision. As it stands now, you don't believe that to be true. If this relationship can't stand the long distance it will take to get it right, then there is no sense gambling on a future when the odds are, presently, stacked against you.
I really need some impartial advice! I met a guy 2 years ago through work and we've always been friendly (and sometimes intimate) but, last year, he moved to another state 8 hours away. About a month ago we decided we wanted to be together and to try a long distance relationship with the thought that eventually I will move to be with him. The thing is while I really love him, I have a lot to lose if I move. I know I can get a job quite easily but I worry about giving up the place I live (I love it and the rent is cheap), the security of having all my family and friends really close and the headache of moving all my stuff to another state or keeping it in storage. And then what if it doesn't work out? I plan to go and see him in a couple of weeks and then he will come and see me about 4 weeks later here. Thing is, I know he wants me to move there asap but is 6 months enough time to make him wait so I know I'm making the best decision? We really do love each other and its not just a silly crush. I know love is always a risk but I wanna know if I'm making the right decision to move in approx 6 months time. Thanks for your help.
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
No, I think a six months wait is absolutely the best choice (or longer). You would be giving up a lot and, if things didn't work out, all of your concerns would have been correct, as well the need to go through the process of backtracking. You must be sure, as sure as anyone can be, that you're making the right decision. As it stands now, you don't believe that to be true. If this relationship can't stand the long distance it will take to get it right, then there is no sense gambling on a future when the odds are, presently, stacked against you.
