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Too Young To Talk Marriage
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/20/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months and we've been talking about marriage for a while, now, and somehow we decided on getting married next summer when we're 18. It sounds good, but I'm scared something will happen and it wont work out. Whenever it gets brought up, I just get sad. I need to know if I should do this, or not. Sometimes I'm sure and, sometimes, it scares me.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
No, you should not do it. You're going along with this and, now, you feel powerless. You have to tell him that marriage is not what you want at this point in your life. With many people living to be in their nineties these days (I have a family member whose going to be 100, next April) getting married at 18 makes it a long time to be with one person (although approx. 50% of marriage end in divorce) and, beside that, you want to live your life to the fullest and enjoy your youth. I know you love this guy, and that's fine. But a long term commitment at this stage of your life is questionable, and you feel it in your bones. Gain the courage to tell him how you feel, because it's unfair to him if you don't -- and wrong for you to maintain a fantasy. That inner-voice of ours seldom betrays us. I know for a fact that when I went against it, I paid a big price. You're bright, now use those smarts to get what you want out of life, and never what anyone tells you, you want. I know your boyfriend's heart is in the right place -- and yours too -- but you need to tell him it's simply not practical to entertain the idea of marriage after only knowing each other for nine months, and at 18. Remember, only five years ago you were probably, reluctantly, putting away your dolls. Maybe longer than that, but you understand what I'm trying to say. Although getting married at 18 was pretty standard 100 years ago, it simply isn't the case, anymore.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months and we've been talking about marriage for a while, now, and somehow we decided on getting married next summer when we're 18. It sounds good, but I'm scared something will happen and it wont work out. Whenever it gets brought up, I just get sad. I need to know if I should do this, or not. Sometimes I'm sure and, sometimes, it scares me.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
No, you should not do it. You're going along with this and, now, you feel powerless. You have to tell him that marriage is not what you want at this point in your life. With many people living to be in their nineties these days (I have a family member whose going to be 100, next April) getting married at 18 makes it a long time to be with one person (although approx. 50% of marriage end in divorce) and, beside that, you want to live your life to the fullest and enjoy your youth. I know you love this guy, and that's fine. But a long term commitment at this stage of your life is questionable, and you feel it in your bones. Gain the courage to tell him how you feel, because it's unfair to him if you don't -- and wrong for you to maintain a fantasy. That inner-voice of ours seldom betrays us. I know for a fact that when I went against it, I paid a big price. You're bright, now use those smarts to get what you want out of life, and never what anyone tells you, you want. I know your boyfriend's heart is in the right place -- and yours too -- but you need to tell him it's simply not practical to entertain the idea of marriage after only knowing each other for nine months, and at 18. Remember, only five years ago you were probably, reluctantly, putting away your dolls. Maybe longer than that, but you understand what I'm trying to say. Although getting married at 18 was pretty standard 100 years ago, it simply isn't the case, anymore.
