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Parents Say Wait To Marry
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/16/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
My boyfriend and I have been dating about two months, we have known each other about 9 months. He enlisted for the Marines about the time we met. We had no contact for 3months and, now, can only talk on weekends. We are both very religious and believe we are meant to be together, so he proposed. We plan to get married about a year from now. He is 19 and I am 18. Our parents both say to wait about 4 years, but with his job he and I think it would be better for our relationship if I was on base with him. What is your opinion on this?
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
The reason to get married should not be because it can improve your relationship. A great relationship needs to be there from the start; although I understand that you feel it's hard to carry on a relationship when you and he are not in close proximity. I'm not a big promoter of anyone getting married without a little more time together under the belt. This may be a relationship made in heaven, but too many people go into a marriage thinking that very thing, only to find out it was unrealistic to think it was an act of destiny, or God inspired. I'm not saying you can't, in a year, if you marry this guy, walk down life's highway with him and be happier than any married couple on the planet -- all two of them! (Joking, of course). But I think you really have to know each other well, and what you both want out of life, long-term, and be in lockstep. We all have certain expectations in life, but they can fall flat when reality sets in. Bottom line: It's not a matter of you, or your parents being right or wrong. It only matters how mature you think you are to make a decision that will affect your life for a long time to come.
My boyfriend and I have been dating about two months, we have known each other about 9 months. He enlisted for the Marines about the time we met. We had no contact for 3months and, now, can only talk on weekends. We are both very religious and believe we are meant to be together, so he proposed. We plan to get married about a year from now. He is 19 and I am 18. Our parents both say to wait about 4 years, but with his job he and I think it would be better for our relationship if I was on base with him. What is your opinion on this?
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
The reason to get married should not be because it can improve your relationship. A great relationship needs to be there from the start; although I understand that you feel it's hard to carry on a relationship when you and he are not in close proximity. I'm not a big promoter of anyone getting married without a little more time together under the belt. This may be a relationship made in heaven, but too many people go into a marriage thinking that very thing, only to find out it was unrealistic to think it was an act of destiny, or God inspired. I'm not saying you can't, in a year, if you marry this guy, walk down life's highway with him and be happier than any married couple on the planet -- all two of them! (Joking, of course). But I think you really have to know each other well, and what you both want out of life, long-term, and be in lockstep. We all have certain expectations in life, but they can fall flat when reality sets in. Bottom line: It's not a matter of you, or your parents being right or wrong. It only matters how mature you think you are to make a decision that will affect your life for a long time to come.
