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Summer Break And Parents' Rules
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/10/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily,
I am 19 years old and i just finished my first year in college. When i was in college my parents never cared that i had a boyfriend and that i would go up and spend the weekend with him, as long as they knew I was safe. But now that i am living in our house for the summer i am not allowed to sleep over his house he lives 45 minutes away and sometimes it would just be easier if i could. But my mom said it would make me look bad and i have bad morals. I have talk to her about it and she says when your in college you can do whatever you want. i feel like this is a double standard and I'm just confused on how i am supposed to react to this. I want to go with my boyfriend to help him move out of his apartment but my parents are dead set against it. I just want to leave because they have never given me a really good reason why I cant except that they don't want me too. I also feel like they don't trust me and I say this to them and they deny it and tell me that they do! By the way, I am going back to school in the middle of August. And me and my boyfriend who is 20 have been dating over a year.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
I know, it seems unfair but, from what you have said, your parents seem more concerned about what people may think of them if they allow their daughter to go to her boyfriend's overnight. For example: The neighbor asks," Where is Jeanie?" Gulp. They do know, however, no matter how they feel about what you're doing with him at college, they simply have no control over it. I'd suck it up and accept their wishes with a show of maturity. I'm pretty sure they are financing you through college and, while home, they are putting food in your mouth and ask for nothing more from you than to abide by their "home" rules. This won't kill you if you can't stay overnight with your boyfriend. Sure, it seems silly, based on your history with your boyfriend -- but life is full of these silly circumstances. When you are self-supporting, that's when you can say, "I'm doing it my way, with apologies to none." August will be here before you know it and, then, you'll be off the the races with no one breathing down your neck.
I am 19 years old and i just finished my first year in college. When i was in college my parents never cared that i had a boyfriend and that i would go up and spend the weekend with him, as long as they knew I was safe. But now that i am living in our house for the summer i am not allowed to sleep over his house he lives 45 minutes away and sometimes it would just be easier if i could. But my mom said it would make me look bad and i have bad morals. I have talk to her about it and she says when your in college you can do whatever you want. i feel like this is a double standard and I'm just confused on how i am supposed to react to this. I want to go with my boyfriend to help him move out of his apartment but my parents are dead set against it. I just want to leave because they have never given me a really good reason why I cant except that they don't want me too. I also feel like they don't trust me and I say this to them and they deny it and tell me that they do! By the way, I am going back to school in the middle of August. And me and my boyfriend who is 20 have been dating over a year.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
I know, it seems unfair but, from what you have said, your parents seem more concerned about what people may think of them if they allow their daughter to go to her boyfriend's overnight. For example: The neighbor asks," Where is Jeanie?" Gulp. They do know, however, no matter how they feel about what you're doing with him at college, they simply have no control over it. I'd suck it up and accept their wishes with a show of maturity. I'm pretty sure they are financing you through college and, while home, they are putting food in your mouth and ask for nothing more from you than to abide by their "home" rules. This won't kill you if you can't stay overnight with your boyfriend. Sure, it seems silly, based on your history with your boyfriend -- but life is full of these silly circumstances. When you are self-supporting, that's when you can say, "I'm doing it my way, with apologies to none." August will be here before you know it and, then, you'll be off the the races with no one breathing down your neck.
