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Sex Drive In The Pits
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/8/2010
- Relationships - Women
| Dear Miss Emily: |
I am 20 years old and I
have been with my boyfriend (age 25) for over two years now. For the
past year, we have lived with each other. He is my first sexual partner I
had. and I love him dearly. (but I am not his first) My concern is
that I am the one in the relationship that keeps wanting sex. Even when
talking to my friends they say it is odd for the female to want it more
than the male. When we first moved in together, sex was a daily
activity for two weeks in a row. But after that I had to keep pushing
the topic for sex. Over time, there are moments we would not have an
intercourse for weeks (at least once a month). He is
my first partner, but is that normal not to have sex with me? We sleep
in the the same bed. He does not like oral. nor does he do it. We
have only done basic movements like missionary and doggy. After sex he
goes stright to sleep and does not not even try round two. I
ask him what he wants in hopes to know if i need to improve. I
know every relationship is different. I know sex should not be the only
thing about a relationship. But I don't feel satisfied with him after
sex. I love him but what can i do?
------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------------------
------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------------------
This problem isn't that
uncommon, but we women are led to believe that men love sex and want
it 24/7. Not true. He has no imagination (or hang-ups) and that's why
he is, more than likely, bored with sex. He doesn't see it as a way to have
"glorious" intimacy like you do, and it's more or less an act that
waxes and wanes depending on his mood. But you are different, want more,
and it needs to be addressed. Tell him you want to work at this with
him, and if he's not interested, I'm afraid you need to consider moving
on. Perhaps if you tell him it's not acceptable to you, and you are
considering "a change" he will be willing to work at it. There are
instructional sex tapes you can buy that can be beneficial. If that's a
wash, find a man who pleases you in this way. Some women can take or
leave sex, but you
want that closeness, to know your man wants the same thing, and there's
no reason not to go after it. Relationships get stale, it takes work to
keep them fresh -- but, again, if he's not on the same page, he's not
worth keeping.

