- Home
- Relationships - Women
- Self-centered Boyfriend
Self-centered Boyfriend
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/8/2010
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I met this man as a very self-confident and self-loving person. I don't think he is an egoist, though, because he has a handicapped sister who he is really taking good care of. I actually didn't wanted to get into a relationship with him but I thought I might get over it and that it was silly. He can talk about his day, his friends, his school all day without even asking me how my day was. Communication is important, and I should probably talk to him about it, but I also feel that I don't wanna ask him to be more focused on me. It's like asking him to buy me flowers, to give me a kiss, to ask me how my day was. It simply defeats the purpose, do you know what I mean? Do you have any advice for me?
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
I hate to say it, but you are wrong. You need to tell him how you feel, because a relationship -- in order to be fulfilling to each party involved, there has to be some balance to it. This relationship is totally one-sided (an understatement). He is obnoxiously self-centered but, apparently, people have let him get away with it. Long ago, I had a friend who was like this, and her friends talked behind her back as to how shallow she was (a majority of the time) and, eventually, ended up dumping her. She too, however, was kind to animals and treated underdogs far better than she treated those she professed to love. Don't allow this to continue any longer. If you do, you only enable his narcissistic behavior and he will continue to think he's just fine the way he is -- and that will drive you up a wall, all the while hating yourself while you are climbing it. Find the courage to get this out in the open, or you will only have yourself to blame for continuing to be his sounding board while you wait for him to throw you a bone.
I met this man as a very self-confident and self-loving person. I don't think he is an egoist, though, because he has a handicapped sister who he is really taking good care of. I actually didn't wanted to get into a relationship with him but I thought I might get over it and that it was silly. He can talk about his day, his friends, his school all day without even asking me how my day was. Communication is important, and I should probably talk to him about it, but I also feel that I don't wanna ask him to be more focused on me. It's like asking him to buy me flowers, to give me a kiss, to ask me how my day was. It simply defeats the purpose, do you know what I mean? Do you have any advice for me?
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
I hate to say it, but you are wrong. You need to tell him how you feel, because a relationship -- in order to be fulfilling to each party involved, there has to be some balance to it. This relationship is totally one-sided (an understatement). He is obnoxiously self-centered but, apparently, people have let him get away with it. Long ago, I had a friend who was like this, and her friends talked behind her back as to how shallow she was (a majority of the time) and, eventually, ended up dumping her. She too, however, was kind to animals and treated underdogs far better than she treated those she professed to love. Don't allow this to continue any longer. If you do, you only enable his narcissistic behavior and he will continue to think he's just fine the way he is -- and that will drive you up a wall, all the while hating yourself while you are climbing it. Find the courage to get this out in the open, or you will only have yourself to blame for continuing to be his sounding board while you wait for him to throw you a bone.
