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Byfriend/Girlfriend Guidelines
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/4/2010
- Relationships - Women
Emily:
My co-worker and I have a relationship question and we are seeking your advice. The situation is my co-worker has been dating a very nice guy for approximately 4-weeks. They have gone out on several dates and see each other several times per week. They seem to have really hit it off with each other and have a lot in common. My co-worker went to Europe for her vacation and they spent two weeks apart. While on her trip she did not receive any text messages or emails from the guy she is seeing. Upon her return he did mention to her that he “missed” her. Our question is how long should you be dating someone for them to be considered your boyfriend/girlfriend? She is interested in having an exclusive relationship with this guy; however, she does not want to have the discussion relating to boundaries unless the time is right. Please advise what you think is an appropriate time period for clear boundaries to be established. Thank you,
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------
I think the relationship of "boyfriend and girlfriend" is a mutual decision and it can happen at any time. It is expressed in words, and in deeds. The fact that he did not write her an e-mail, or text could mean many things: He thought she was too busy traveling to converse -guys are odd ducks, and that could actually be the true reason. They often see things only in black and white. "She's there, I'm here. I'll see her when she gets back." Or because she didn't text or call him, he may have thought "I wonder why she's not calling -- oh well, I'll wait until she gets home." Guys are human too -- although I hate to admit it! It could also be that he is not ready for a commitment -- may never be ready, or simply needs more time to work into a commited relationship. It's too early to worry that this won't work out, and I think a natual progression is best. In time, if he seems like a "commitment phobe" it's a sign to cut bait and start fishing in a new stream. Above all, good communication is best. If you want something, ask for it! You may not get it, but it seems silly to, endlessly, suffer in the land of the unknown.
My co-worker and I have a relationship question and we are seeking your advice. The situation is my co-worker has been dating a very nice guy for approximately 4-weeks. They have gone out on several dates and see each other several times per week. They seem to have really hit it off with each other and have a lot in common. My co-worker went to Europe for her vacation and they spent two weeks apart. While on her trip she did not receive any text messages or emails from the guy she is seeing. Upon her return he did mention to her that he “missed” her. Our question is how long should you be dating someone for them to be considered your boyfriend/girlfriend? She is interested in having an exclusive relationship with this guy; however, she does not want to have the discussion relating to boundaries unless the time is right. Please advise what you think is an appropriate time period for clear boundaries to be established. Thank you,
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------
I think the relationship of "boyfriend and girlfriend" is a mutual decision and it can happen at any time. It is expressed in words, and in deeds. The fact that he did not write her an e-mail, or text could mean many things: He thought she was too busy traveling to converse -guys are odd ducks, and that could actually be the true reason. They often see things only in black and white. "She's there, I'm here. I'll see her when she gets back." Or because she didn't text or call him, he may have thought "I wonder why she's not calling -- oh well, I'll wait until she gets home." Guys are human too -- although I hate to admit it! It could also be that he is not ready for a commitment -- may never be ready, or simply needs more time to work into a commited relationship. It's too early to worry that this won't work out, and I think a natual progression is best. In time, if he seems like a "commitment phobe" it's a sign to cut bait and start fishing in a new stream. Above all, good communication is best. If you want something, ask for it! You may not get it, but it seems silly to, endlessly, suffer in the land of the unknown.
