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Downhill After Prom
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/1/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily,
I have known this guy for 3 years. At first I had a little crush on him but it went away and plus he got a girlfriend and kind of disappeared from everyone for about 2 years. Well I had started talking to him again the beginning of this year and then his girlfriend breaks up with him. Well like a month later it was getting close to prom and I didn't have a date seeing as how I was single. He was already graduated and I asked him if he wanted to go with me as friends. He said yes and everything was fine, but then his ex decides that she still has feelings for him but he tells her that its over and he isn't going to get back with her. So as time goes on I start to develop deeper feelings for him. So prom goes on and that night as we were dancing he says that it is weird seeing his ex here who wants to get back together and then the fact that I have the potential to be more has him confused. I didn't know what to say cuz I didn't want to make it awkward, but after prom we end up kissing and stuff. So the next week I decide to tell him that I like him and his reaction isn’t what I expected. He was still normal around me but said that he could only be my friend. But he kept flirting with me, and then the next week I find that he is getting back together with his ex. That really frustrated me but I can't help how I feel. And even now he still talks to me about having sex (aka I'm a virgin) he knows. I would if he wasn’t about to be in a relationship but I don't understand why he would want to. And he still flirts with me which makes it harder to stop liking him. But whenever we are around just each other there are moments where we just stare into each others eyes for a long time, but he never breaks the stare, does that mean anything. I am just really confused about why he is still flirting with me and talking to me about if we dated and such when he is starting in a relationship. I have never really felt like this for anyone and I know I would do anything for him, but I don't want to be heartbroken at the end, which I can see will happen. I am just really confused so please any advice you can give me would be so helpful. Oh and I am 18 he is 19 and his ex-future girlfriend is 17.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
It seems, although you'd do anything for him, he doesn't feel that way about you. He is obviously attracted to you, and the flirting is pretty natural for a teenage boy who wants it all and does everything to get it -- but he's not really your man. He appears to be at the mercy of his ex (future girlfriend) who he has unfinished business with, and it's time to be realistic. As long as you go along with him being incapable of making you his girl, I'd back off and tell him why. You simply aren't in the mood to play any games, but if he decides he no longer wants to be in a relationship with this other girl, let you know. Until then, maintain your self-respect and move on. It's demeaning to continue to let him do what he's doing without you thinking you have any say in the matter. I'm here to tell you, you do and it's time to let him know it, as well.
I have known this guy for 3 years. At first I had a little crush on him but it went away and plus he got a girlfriend and kind of disappeared from everyone for about 2 years. Well I had started talking to him again the beginning of this year and then his girlfriend breaks up with him. Well like a month later it was getting close to prom and I didn't have a date seeing as how I was single. He was already graduated and I asked him if he wanted to go with me as friends. He said yes and everything was fine, but then his ex decides that she still has feelings for him but he tells her that its over and he isn't going to get back with her. So as time goes on I start to develop deeper feelings for him. So prom goes on and that night as we were dancing he says that it is weird seeing his ex here who wants to get back together and then the fact that I have the potential to be more has him confused. I didn't know what to say cuz I didn't want to make it awkward, but after prom we end up kissing and stuff. So the next week I decide to tell him that I like him and his reaction isn’t what I expected. He was still normal around me but said that he could only be my friend. But he kept flirting with me, and then the next week I find that he is getting back together with his ex. That really frustrated me but I can't help how I feel. And even now he still talks to me about having sex (aka I'm a virgin) he knows. I would if he wasn’t about to be in a relationship but I don't understand why he would want to. And he still flirts with me which makes it harder to stop liking him. But whenever we are around just each other there are moments where we just stare into each others eyes for a long time, but he never breaks the stare, does that mean anything. I am just really confused about why he is still flirting with me and talking to me about if we dated and such when he is starting in a relationship. I have never really felt like this for anyone and I know I would do anything for him, but I don't want to be heartbroken at the end, which I can see will happen. I am just really confused so please any advice you can give me would be so helpful. Oh and I am 18 he is 19 and his ex-future girlfriend is 17.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
It seems, although you'd do anything for him, he doesn't feel that way about you. He is obviously attracted to you, and the flirting is pretty natural for a teenage boy who wants it all and does everything to get it -- but he's not really your man. He appears to be at the mercy of his ex (future girlfriend) who he has unfinished business with, and it's time to be realistic. As long as you go along with him being incapable of making you his girl, I'd back off and tell him why. You simply aren't in the mood to play any games, but if he decides he no longer wants to be in a relationship with this other girl, let you know. Until then, maintain your self-respect and move on. It's demeaning to continue to let him do what he's doing without you thinking you have any say in the matter. I'm here to tell you, you do and it's time to let him know it, as well.
