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Through Thick And Thin
- By Miss Emily
- Published 05/28/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Emily,
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and couple months now. I am 19 and he is 20. Our birthdays are both in September. My mom has never really liked him. But, lately, she has gotten used to the situation. My dad likes him as well. Anyway, all through our freshmen year he was sick a total of 8 times and had to go to the hospital. He has recently just got sick, again, so he has been in and out of the hospital the last couple of days. I love him very much and i really think he is the one, and he thinks the same about me. I want to be there for him as much as i can and i love taking care of him -- but my mom is telling me that this is the time in my life that i should be going out and partying and meeting tons of guys (like she did) but i am not like that at all, and i have never been. My mom also said i was not normal having a serious relationship like this in college. But i am a shy person unlike her n my sister. I just want to know if i am doing the right thing. She makes me fell like i am making a big mistake with my boyfriend because he is sick, and i like to take care of him. I don't think he is needy -- he is just sick and wants me to be there for him like i would want him to be there for me. I mean, i have to go through the bad times to have the good times right? Or is my mom right -- should i just find someone who i dont think exist (that for some reason she does "Prince Charming")? To be honest, i think my boyfriend is "him." I dunno i really need your help.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
I admire your commitment to sticking by the man you love. This is what love is all about -- being together, not only in good times, but when times are tough. From your mother's point of view, you can do better. But that is her opinion (based perhaps on experience from her own life), and should not affect how you feel about your boyfriend if you find no legitimate merit to her concerns. Your letter is genuine, and it is refreshing to read an e-mail from someone who cares as deeply as you. He's lucky to have you in his corner and, if he's all you think he is, you're lucky to have him. I often write to women, your age, to be careful about making too strong a commitment when there is much life to be lived, and time to do it. But, in your case, I advise you to follow your heart and carry on, as usual. I think you are bright and, in time, if he turns out not to be the man for you, you'll know it and make the necessary changes. I do hope he recovers from whatever it is that continues to land him in the hospital, and I know that you being by his side means all the world to him. Good luck to both of you.
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and couple months now. I am 19 and he is 20. Our birthdays are both in September. My mom has never really liked him. But, lately, she has gotten used to the situation. My dad likes him as well. Anyway, all through our freshmen year he was sick a total of 8 times and had to go to the hospital. He has recently just got sick, again, so he has been in and out of the hospital the last couple of days. I love him very much and i really think he is the one, and he thinks the same about me. I want to be there for him as much as i can and i love taking care of him -- but my mom is telling me that this is the time in my life that i should be going out and partying and meeting tons of guys (like she did) but i am not like that at all, and i have never been. My mom also said i was not normal having a serious relationship like this in college. But i am a shy person unlike her n my sister. I just want to know if i am doing the right thing. She makes me fell like i am making a big mistake with my boyfriend because he is sick, and i like to take care of him. I don't think he is needy -- he is just sick and wants me to be there for him like i would want him to be there for me. I mean, i have to go through the bad times to have the good times right? Or is my mom right -- should i just find someone who i dont think exist (that for some reason she does "Prince Charming")? To be honest, i think my boyfriend is "him." I dunno i really need your help.
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
I admire your commitment to sticking by the man you love. This is what love is all about -- being together, not only in good times, but when times are tough. From your mother's point of view, you can do better. But that is her opinion (based perhaps on experience from her own life), and should not affect how you feel about your boyfriend if you find no legitimate merit to her concerns. Your letter is genuine, and it is refreshing to read an e-mail from someone who cares as deeply as you. He's lucky to have you in his corner and, if he's all you think he is, you're lucky to have him. I often write to women, your age, to be careful about making too strong a commitment when there is much life to be lived, and time to do it. But, in your case, I advise you to follow your heart and carry on, as usual. I think you are bright and, in time, if he turns out not to be the man for you, you'll know it and make the necessary changes. I do hope he recovers from whatever it is that continues to land him in the hospital, and I know that you being by his side means all the world to him. Good luck to both of you.
