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Does Gossip Trump Trust This TIme?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 05/23/2010
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
Okay, here the deal. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 23 -- biggest age difference I've ever done. He has had sex whereas I haven't, and throughout our 9 month relationship it's been known and respected from both parties that I want to wait. Now what happened was his half-sister (who didn't grow up with him and hasn't been too close to) sent me a message on Myspace telling me that there is a rumor of him having had a night with some drunk girl. Now she heard it from their aunt which my boyfriend lives with. However, now he AND the aunt is trying to say that it was a joke and that she didn't get it and, then, took it seriously. I had asked him if I could have his login information so I could see for myself if there was anything of interest. Personally, I think that if he didn't have anything to hide he would have given it up and said "Sure here you go. It'll prove I'm innocent. "No" he flat out told me and that it was I who didn't trust him. I honestly don't know what to do, believe, or go with. We are on a break while I figure things out.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
That's not something you usually joke about -- having sex with a girl who's drunk. I see no humor in it -- only that he would be a creep for doing such a thing, and joking about it. He obviously had no respect for her if it is true. I would think it's more likely that he read his aunt the riot act, and now she's pretending she's just a dingbat with no sense of humor. I can see why an individual would want to keep personal information private -- and he does have a right to not give you his password on Myspace -- but, if I were a betting person, from what you have told me there might be something to this rumor. Some people lie, and some people get railroaded -- but I think you have a good idea who is telling the truth in this case. He can be angry at his aunt for spilling the beans to the half-sister -- she had no right to gossip but, if I were you, I would keep my eyes and ears open for a future breach of trust.
Okay, here the deal. I am 19 and my boyfriend is 23 -- biggest age difference I've ever done. He has had sex whereas I haven't, and throughout our 9 month relationship it's been known and respected from both parties that I want to wait. Now what happened was his half-sister (who didn't grow up with him and hasn't been too close to) sent me a message on Myspace telling me that there is a rumor of him having had a night with some drunk girl. Now she heard it from their aunt which my boyfriend lives with. However, now he AND the aunt is trying to say that it was a joke and that she didn't get it and, then, took it seriously. I had asked him if I could have his login information so I could see for myself if there was anything of interest. Personally, I think that if he didn't have anything to hide he would have given it up and said "Sure here you go. It'll prove I'm innocent. "No" he flat out told me and that it was I who didn't trust him. I honestly don't know what to do, believe, or go with. We are on a break while I figure things out.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
That's not something you usually joke about -- having sex with a girl who's drunk. I see no humor in it -- only that he would be a creep for doing such a thing, and joking about it. He obviously had no respect for her if it is true. I would think it's more likely that he read his aunt the riot act, and now she's pretending she's just a dingbat with no sense of humor. I can see why an individual would want to keep personal information private -- and he does have a right to not give you his password on Myspace -- but, if I were a betting person, from what you have told me there might be something to this rumor. Some people lie, and some people get railroaded -- but I think you have a good idea who is telling the truth in this case. He can be angry at his aunt for spilling the beans to the half-sister -- she had no right to gossip but, if I were you, I would keep my eyes and ears open for a future breach of trust.
