I guess I just needed an unbiased opinion. I don't even know where to begin. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now, and we have been living together since December. We get along most of the time but it seems as if our personalities clash. We're both incredibly stubborn so fights will go on WAY longer than is necessary. Here is my issue: when he gets mad, he gets visibly frustrated, and he gets really condescending in how he speaks to me. I never raise my voice, and even during confrontation I will remain calm and collected whereas he does not. I just don't know how I can picture being with someone for the rest of my life that talks to me the way he does when we argue. He also really changes in his personality, in that some days he's extremely funny and outgoing, where some days he won't say a thing to me and acts distant, and when I ask him about this he just says I'm fine, or he doesn't have anything to say. We have both said we are who we want to spend the rest of our lives with, but I'm second guessing myself now. We seem to argue a lot and he (like most men) has no idea how to express emotions. I feel like I have to beat any kind of emotion out of him - which makes me insecure about where I stand with him. I'm just confused how I figure out I'm in actually happy with him, or if I can do better. Any help would be appreciated..

-------------------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------------------

I wholeheartedly agree with you. You can't be happy with someone who sees nasty put downs as the only way to argue, and who is moody in a manner that makes you feel as if it's something you have done to cause it. It's a sign of immaturity and, frankly, it leads to nothing but frustration and hostility. That you can get on the subway, and you don't need it at home. I am sure he has many attributes, but I think you and he need to work on, and see eye-to-eye on the basics -- and those would be:  What is acceptable, and what isn't when you engage in an argument -- a commitment to be respectful to each other -- and an acceptance of some "alone time," without feeling rejected, if one of you chooses to take it. This allows the individual time to work things out, free of the pressure to put on a good face. It's my firm belief that the best relationship are those that have common interests -- likes and dislikes -- similar values, and that would include politics and religion if these are important to you and him. No couple needs to behave like conjoined twins, and independence in a relationship is a good thing -- but these basic tenets give any relationship a fighting chance. Opposites attract, but do not tend to make good partnerships for the long haul. You've known each other for only a year, and lived together for a few months. Now you are finding out how the other person operates, and it's up to you and him to decide if it can work. Couples who go to couples counseling, prior to marriage, have a much greater chance of avoiding divorce court. Sometimes cost is a concern but, more often than not, it's a belief that no matter the differences the couple can fix them once the wedding vows are spoken. That's when success becomes more akin to a crap shoot (50% of marriages end in divorce). And with so much at stake, I can't imagine why anyone would enter a marriage with that as the foundation for success.