DEAR MISS EMILY:

O K, SO HERE IS THE PROBLEM...I JUST HAD A BABY 2 WEEKS AGO. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 10 YRS WITH A COUPLE SPILT-UPS, MY FAULT. NOW HE HAS JUST STARTED HIS OWN LAWN SERVICE WHICH IS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WORK HE HAS DONE SINCE WE GOT TOGETHER-- BUT NOW IT IS HIS (A LOT MORE FREE TIME), IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN !!!! NOT TO MENTION THAT, BUT HE HAS GOT A CLIENT NOW THAT DRESSES SLUTTY. SHE IS THE SAME AGE AS WE ARE, AND HAS A LOT OF THE SAME INTERESTS AS HIM..NOW I DIDN'T GO WITH HIM THIS LAST TIME, HE WENT TO HER YARD AND SHE'S OUT THERE TALKING TO HIM AND GIVING HIM STUFF. SHE HAS ALREADY TOLD ME SHE ISN'T HAPPY WITH HER BOYFRIEND SO WHAT WOULD YOU THINK? NOT TO MENTION THAT NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS, IS HE THINKING ABOUT HER WHILE WE ARE MAKING LOVE?  HE COULD BE AND, EVEN IF HE SLIPS UP AND CALLS OUT HER NAME, I WOULDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS THINKING OF  --CAUSE HER NAME IS THE SAME AS MINE! ADVISE, PLEASE.

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

If you've just had a baby, you have a lot on your plate and don't need this to worry about. It really doesn't matter how this woman presents herself -- you have no control over that -- it only matters how your partner is able to draw the line in the sand and not be tempted to cross over it. Inform him that you won't be taken for a fool, and if he ever decides you are not enough for him -- you promise you will handle it in a mature way and  not keep his child from him. But you want to be informed because, if he cares anything for you, he won't keep you in the dark by living a lie. In any decent relationship, trust and respect are the cornerstones. If you don't have those basis elements, you do not have the basis for a lasting, strong relationship. Work at getting it right, because your child deserves the best of both of you.