Dear Miss Emily: I  met this wonderful man on Match.com and we really connected. He is 40. I am 32. We started going out over a month ago. For some reason, I felt really comfortable with him and revealed a lot about myself to him right away: the fact that I was raped 10 years ago, the fact that I struggle with anorexia and depression...(although, I am getting better... truly.  I am making every effort to get healthy... for my sake, not his). He seemed so sympathetic and understanding and I really, REALLY like him. We even got very intimate physically, very fast (though I haven't slept with him yet... but we have come close). It is very hard for me to trust men, considering what I went through, but I feel so comfortable and safe with him. I don't want to let that go.  However, two weeks ago, he called me up and said that he didn't think we should continue dating. I fear that he was kind of freaked out by all my problems, as he has many issues of his own. He suffers from anxiety and panic attacks and is in between jobs at the moment. He was married for 15 years and got divorced two years ago. I don't think he is quite over that yet. He told me that he really has strong feelings for me and is very attracted to me, but he is afraid of hurting me because he thinks this will not work out in the end. But, I don't agree.  I think it could work, although I know there are no guarantees.  The idea of regretting not trying upsets me more than the idea of getting hurt down the line.  We still talk (just chatting on facebook), but I want more. I want him to call me. I am afraid to call him, as I don't want to seem pushy and I don't want to scare him further away. I just want him to give us a chance and see where it goes. I have explained to him that I am not asking for a commitment right now. I just want him to give us a try.  Is there hope for this? I am not sure what else to do. When we do talk (online), he still seems interested in me, he is just conflicted. What do I say to put his mind at ease and let him know that I am willing to take it slow?  How do I convince him to take a risk?

-------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------

I don't think there's much more you can do. Your heart is in the right place, and I know you are genuinely sincere. But despite me thinking it was not a good idea to fill him in on all of your struggles so early in the relationship, you did, and it seems he may be an individual who is seeking a relationship, but lacks the courage, or is ill-prepared to take on anything he deems too complicated. I know that type of guy. He wants smooth sailing, and can get anxious when called upon to give more than a sympathetic ear. Keep the correspondence going, be chatty, but leave out any suggestion of getting together or giving it another try. In the future, hold off on letting someone in on your life story until you have developed a closer relationship and can truly trust someone with your feelings. I've done a little bit of that myself, in the past, and learned from it. I found out that what has happened in my life need not be told to anyone. It's completely up to me. I can actually keep some stuff between me -- and me! This appoach doesn't mean you have to deceive, it only means you can be discerning -- without guilt.  It's great to share our life's trials, but it's also good to look to the future and keep our past from dictating it. I used to make fun of an expression that I heard when I was young. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." But you know, as corny as that sounds, it's really true! And I like the idea of being able to, for lack of a better term, reinvent yourself. There's no need to recreate a whole new you, but it does mean you can forget some of the hellish past and embrace a new you who wants to be happy, free to enjoy life, and with apologies to none. Don't ever forget that you have a lot to give the right person. As well, be your own best friend. When we can forgive ourselves for all the things we could, and could not control in our past, life gets easier. If he's not the guy, there's someone who is -- that I do know.