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Long Distance Relationship Causes Frustration
- By Miss Emily
- Published 04/6/2010
- Relationships - Men
Okay, it is sort of a long story. I
have been in a long distance relationship for over 20 months now. About
2 months ago I was feeling overwhelmed with life and stopped going to
class for 2 weeks. I continued to go to work but I did not attend class
and lied to my girlfriend about it. She got very angry when she found out,
obviously. She is supposed to be moving up here in the summer, but our
month of March was horrible. We were not as close, you could just tell
on the phone, some days we were nice some days we weren't. And it was
not just what I did, she was dealing with her roommate leaving before
she was, getting into the MBA
program up by me and some other things that made her feel
overwhelmed. So we finally got to talking about our problems last week
and agreed when we saw each other this weekend we would work on it or
figure something out. So when we finally talk about it, I asked her if
she did anything that would have jeopardized the relationship and she said she made out with some guy at a bar...what the fuck? And she's
trying to tell me not to dwell on it, that it was a microcosm of our
bigger issues...bullshit! I am still pissed and I don't know if I even
want to be with this girl anymore...I just need any advice from anyone.
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I'm not crazy about what she did, either, but I think you need to cool your jets -- and this is why: Long distance relationship are hard to maintain. When the pressure's on in life, each party wants to be up-close-and-personal with his or her mate, and sometimes it's a frustrating situation when it can't happen. You didn't need to lie about missing class, you did it because you were overwhelmed, and that's when you reach out to the people you love for support. If she was angry that you lied, rather than sharing this information with her, I think she might have felt alienated by you keeping this from her. On the other hand, if she was passing judgment about the way you handled your stress, that's not support, but parenting. I think you do need to have "the talk" when you see her and try to recommit. She's going to be in your area this summer, and that would be a perfect time to renew your interest in each another -- and it could be a great fun. You both had a rough patch, and she breached the trust you had in her. But it is not insurmountable unless your false pride makes it so.
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I'm not crazy about what she did, either, but I think you need to cool your jets -- and this is why: Long distance relationship are hard to maintain. When the pressure's on in life, each party wants to be up-close-and-personal with his or her mate, and sometimes it's a frustrating situation when it can't happen. You didn't need to lie about missing class, you did it because you were overwhelmed, and that's when you reach out to the people you love for support. If she was angry that you lied, rather than sharing this information with her, I think she might have felt alienated by you keeping this from her. On the other hand, if she was passing judgment about the way you handled your stress, that's not support, but parenting. I think you do need to have "the talk" when you see her and try to recommit. She's going to be in your area this summer, and that would be a perfect time to renew your interest in each another -- and it could be a great fun. You both had a rough patch, and she breached the trust you had in her. But it is not insurmountable unless your false pride makes it so.
