Published on 03/3/2010
Emily:
I was seeing this girl (27)
for a little over a year and, although we were very compatible and
happy, I was an asshole at times and cheated on her (no sex, though,
if that matters). The first 2 times I confessed, and tried to prove my
contrition through loving gestures. The last time, we broke up as a
result, and I was slowly winning her back, when suddenly she decided she
"can't forgive and forget" and started semi-dating some other guy. My
question is: I can't even look at other women right now, I'm so obsessed
with her; how can she immediately start dating someone else? Does that
mean she doesn't care about me, and wants to use
something that was my fault as a way to assuage her guilt for breaking my heart? I
realized (too late) that I really loved her all along and was just
afraid to commit. What can I do?
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
Wait it out. You laid the groundwork for this, so you can't
really blame her for building on it. Maybe the old "you don't know what
you've got til' it's gone" holds true in this case, but maybe not. I
think your ego has taken a real hit, and sometimes that overrides the
reality of the situation -- and can be misconstrued as a broken heart. Maybe you
are a bit of a commitment-phobe, but that's a sorry excuse. Whether you
slept with the other girls, or not, it shows a lack of respect (an
understatement), and she wanted a serious commitment with a mature guy.
If you are truly sincere, and capable of being faithful, I hope this
turns around for you. But if it doesn't, lick your wounds and consider
this a rather harsh learning experience.