Published on 02/28/2010
Dear Miss Emily:
Well, I'm 14 and my boyfriend just
broke up with me a few days ago. His friend asked me out today. He and I had gone out in fifth-sixth grade. I like him, but he
dated my best friend last year and they broke up a few months ago. My
friends and I have a girl code and the boys have guy code and one of the
rules for both guy and girl code is that you can't date your best friend's ex without
his or her permission. I want to get back together with him, but I'm not
sure if my friends would accept me and him being together again. What
should I do?
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
That's an absurd code, because it's based on
jealousy/insecurity. Now if the friend was legitimately, emotionally
damaged/hurt by this person, I could see where a pact to keep "hands
off" would be appropriate. That said, since you think there's merit to
this code, all you can do is tell your friend he asked you out and take
it from there. But be aware, although a friend may say "yes" she really
mean "no" and, then, getting involved with the guy could end up the same
as breaking the code
without permission. Try having a heart-to-heart on this issue, and see
if you're capable of finding out her true feelings. You went out with him in the
fifth-sixth grade. That should work in your favor.