Emily:

I am sixteen, going on seventeen and about a month and a half ago I got back together with my 17 going on 18 year old boyfriend. I'm sick of tearing my friends ears off about my relationship so I thought I'd try this. I am in love with this boy and I seriously know he cares deeply about me. yet.. he doesn't show it at school. He will NOT come to my locker unless I make him, and honestly I just feel like he's embarrassed of me. The last time we dated it was during the summer and at the end of the school year, so I didn't realize he was embarrassed of me then. I am one of the girls in my school that many boys fawn over. I could get any guy i want if I try hard enough., yet he doesn't seem to want to show me off. All a girl wants is to be treasured and feel needed. And I don't feel like it. But I still feel like I need him. I've never been in another relationship, but the one I'm in with him and I can't get myself to get over him  -- and I don't want to get over him, but I want him to show a little bit more care. He's one of the players of the school pretty much. He's been with many girls but he always wants me more than any of them and showed it at the beginning of our relationship when we got back together, but since then he's kind of faded in the caring about me category. I see him walking with other girls in the hall way and wonder why he can't just be himself around me at school. We just get awkward around each other because I can just tell he doesn't want to be with me at school. But as soon as school gets out, he seems to still want me. I've asked him if he feels differently about me or if he's embarrassed of me and he says that he feels completely the same when he's in the school. but why doesnt he show it? And how do I get him to realize how good he's got it with me? He knew it when he didn't have me because he wanted me back so badly but, now, that he's gotten me back, I feel like he thinks he doesn't need to try any more. All my guy friends tell me that he doesn't treat me right, and I know it's true. He doesn't have a job so I pay for a lot of the things we do. He always chooses his friends over me. He flirts with other girls. He makes me feel bad about myself. and, yet, I always find myself thinking about him --  not always in good ways but for the most part I still love him. I just don't feel happy lately... got any advice?

----------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------

Maybe it's similar to some guys who won't wear a wedding ring, because they want to keep their options open! He's got the power in this relationship and he thinks any way he directs it should be fine with you. At school he doesn't want to tied to you. He wants to socialize, feel free to be who he wants to be, and hanging out with you at your locker or joined at the hip is not the image he wants to project. I don't think he's embarrassed of you at all. How could he be, you're a catch! But his ego doesn't allow the commitment you want, and that's where you're going to have to decide what to do about it. Talk is cheap, and if his words don't measure up to his actions, he's just another guy who's doing what he wants and expects his girlfriend to go along with it. You may want him because he's a challenge -- someone to conquer -- and he may have many attributes, but he isn't loyal in the way you want him to be, he ignores your attempts to fix it, and that tells me a lot about who he is and what you should do about it -- and that would be to break-up with him and find a guy who gives you what you want in a relationship. Bottom line? He is who he is, and that's unlikely to change.