Dear Miss Emily:

I recently found out that my fiance or, now, ex-fiance, is addicted to sex. He watches porn everyday and seeks out sexual encounters. He says that two months ago, he took his problem to the Lord and that since then, he hasn't had the desire to seek sexual encounters but he still looks at porn. And I have noticed in the last couple months that he has been going to church every Sunday and reading the bible. So I believe that he is working on getting his addiction under control. Question is, do I give him a second chance? He wants me to stay with him and seek counseling together.  I know he loves me and I love him which makes this hard. I also know he has a problem, and he knows he does as well. So do I leave and lose the one I love, or do I stay and we together seek help for his addiction?

------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------

There is always a gamble when it comes to conquering an addiction.  Often, there are numerous, failed attempts to control the beast within.  From a personal perspective, I would be less likely to want to continue a relationship with this man. You are going to have to decide how much time and effort you want to put into this man's challenging effort to put his life back on track.  Many addicts replace one addiction for another.  In his case, it might be religion -- and that may be okay if you're on board with it. Please read as much as you can on the subject of sex addiction, and make no promises until you are absolutely sure you won't have to revisit this problem if you were to marry him. Seek out the best counselor.  I would not suggest a religious counselor because there can be an unrealistic belief that all addiction can be cured by a strong faith in God.  "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."  You have time to figure this out. Again, make no commitment to marriage until you have done everything conceivable to educate yourself in order to make an informed decision.  He needs you, now, but you don't need him.