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Trust Issue
- By Miss Emily
- Published 01/14/2009
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I am in a live in type relationship for about a year. He's been married 3 times. I have major trust issues due to my past marriage. How do I get past this, and not apply them to him. I am also a worrier, mainly because he drinks.
Nervous
----------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------
Dear Nervous:
It's hard to start with a clean, mental state of mind the second time around. So many of us drag our old baggage with us, and don't even attempt to unpack, so to speak. In general, I think it's natural to trust someone until you find something verifiable that is not trustworthy. But in your case, the drinking is a problem, of course. In terms of trust, alcoholics are untrustworthy people, because you cannot depend on them in some of the most important ways that keep a relationship sound. If he's been married 3 times, now I'm nervous! Your reasons for lack of trust and worry are probably valid. To be truthful, I'm wondering if I trust your choice in men! In your situation, I would take it a day at a time, keep your ears and eyes open, and avoid finding excuses for any of his bad behavior.
I am in a live in type relationship for about a year. He's been married 3 times. I have major trust issues due to my past marriage. How do I get past this, and not apply them to him. I am also a worrier, mainly because he drinks.
Nervous
----------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------
Dear Nervous:
It's hard to start with a clean, mental state of mind the second time around. So many of us drag our old baggage with us, and don't even attempt to unpack, so to speak. In general, I think it's natural to trust someone until you find something verifiable that is not trustworthy. But in your case, the drinking is a problem, of course. In terms of trust, alcoholics are untrustworthy people, because you cannot depend on them in some of the most important ways that keep a relationship sound. If he's been married 3 times, now I'm nervous! Your reasons for lack of trust and worry are probably valid. To be truthful, I'm wondering if I trust your choice in men! In your situation, I would take it a day at a time, keep your ears and eyes open, and avoid finding excuses for any of his bad behavior.
