Dear Miss Emily:

Hello. A very close friend of mine has recently fallen for a guy who is really unstable. One second he is telling her he loves her, the next he is breaking up with her. They have been on and off several times for the last 4 months. I have talked to her about it, telling her she deserves somebody who won't play her like a puppet. But she keeps getting back with him. I hate seeing her get hurt every time, so I sent a really long message to her boyfriend, suggesting that he sort himself out and stop hurting her. Am I getting too involved in their relationship? And should I just back away and watch the same vicious cycle continue?

---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------

Yes, it's time to back off. If anything you said had been taken to heart, your girlfriend would have decided to stay away from this guy. Your letter to him, more than likely, won't make a difference in their relationship, but it could, now, drive a wedge in the relationship you have with her. But whatever the outcome, your friend seems to want to learn the hard way, or hope she can prove everyone is wrong about him. But, ultimately, it's her life, and you must let her live it -- no matter her apparent need to be jerked around.