Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend and I have been together for about four months now. I know that's not very long. but we have spent nearly every day together so we have grown extremely close within that short amount of time. I don't have the highest self esteem, but every guy I've been in a relationship with has always made me feel comfortable with who I am, what I look like, but not this one! Within four months. he has never once called me beautiful, told me I was sexy, or that he was attracted to me. He never initiates sex. or any physical contact at all. Despite how he makes me feel, I try to reassure him that I'm attracted to him. I call him pet names like "cutie" "sexy" "hottie" -- just little names to let him know that I'm attracted to him. I just don't understand why he isn't attracted to me. I honestly don't know how to react. I made the mistake today by asking him if he was attracted to me. He said "yes, why you'd ask?" I replied "Well, I just honestly don't feel like you are." Two hours later...still no response. :( help please.

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

What you see is what you get with this one. It's more than possible he would be like this in any relationship he had. The biggest mistake you could make, however, is thinking he will change. That's a lesson in futility. Few people change their basic nature. It seems odd that he would stay with you if you didn't "float his boat", and that's why I think he's just, well, kind of a dud. He doesn't initiate sex, or physical contact and, for you, that's not a relationship, it's closer to dentistry and pulling teeth. Spare yourself any more self-esteem blows from a guy who simply seems inept. You and he must have some things in common, or I can't figure out why you'd accept his low libido, and total lack of enthusiasm. If he's a chronic pot smoker, that could account for some of his sexual lethargy, but that's a guess on my part. I think you need to send him packing, and stop trying to fish for compliments. It's demeaning to you, and totally unnecessary. You want a man, not a mannequin.