Dear Miss Emily

I am in a very odd situation. I was engaged with my high school sweetheart when I met another man. He completely swept me off my feet, and made me feel adored. The problem is having feelings for both. They are completely different. My old love makes me feel insecure and as if I need him, whereas my new love makes me feel like royalty. The problem is my new love moved back home across the country. and isn't wealthy. but is doing everything in his power to come back to me. My first love has a wealthy family and does offer security. My parents hate my new love, because they feel he can't give me what I deserve. I know if he was back in my life and proved, once more, that he can be with me -- and financially stable -- then I would be with him. I know its going to take time. but since he's not here. I'm still, technically, with my first. It's devastates my new love, but he must understand where I'm coming from. I'm just not sure if I should take the leap for him, or take the security.

-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

I don't think you should choose either man, necessarily. Marriage isn't, or shouldn't be a crap shoot. If you're marrying your high school sweetheart out of security, that's fine when you want a spa treatment, but what about all the other things that make a relationship work? You want trust, respect, common interests and values, open communication, and a commitment to form a lasting, and working partnership. You should have these ducks in a row, and be eager to get your life started with the man you love. I don't know if the guy who treats you like royalty is right for you. It was in the "honeymoon stage" and both of you were caught up in the heady moments of new love. For you, it was an escape from what you were used to having with your fiance, and for him it was the newness of a relationship with a women he thinks is his dream girl. But you haven't spent enough time with him to know if this can work for the long-haul. Having financial difficulty is never a good thing, but if you're signing yourself on to country club life because your fiance come from money, that had better be your main interest in marrying.  Because if you're not fulfilled in ways you want, you'll have an affair. And boy, won't that have tongues wagging at the club!