Dear Miss Emily:

I'm 33 year old male. Girlfriend is almost 28. We have dated about a year and 9 months. I have been staying at her house nearly every night since 2 months in. We bickered a lot due to differences. I have made numerous positive changes over the last year that she acknowledged. She counts on me for emotional support. Our communication, however, completely dissipated and there was minimal intimacy. She started nursing school this past September and has become overwhelmed with everything. Tuesday she called and broke up. Yesterday she texts saying my stuff isn't gathered yet for pickup. I asked to talk. She said "yes" when she's ready, but to stop pressuring her. is this salvageable?  I would like to go to counseling with her. She admitted to harboring resentment from some arguments in the first year and admitted that she hasn't been that nice to me recently. If I'm trying to win her back and want to reignite the flame, what do you suggest i do? Her birthday is this coming Monday. Thank you.

----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

She's asked for space, and I would give it to her; no matter how painful. This gives her the opportunity to miss what you and she had, want to work at finding solutions --  or decide to let you go. You don't want to be in a relationship if it's run its course. And that may be the case. Sometimes a relationship is a work in progress, but sometimes it's a lesson in futility to try and keep it going. The pressures of school, and the history you and she have had led her to this choice. If she wants to try, again, couples counseling would be a good choice. It will either prove that there's something to salvage (and give you tools to help the cause), or it will aid you in moving on if it's truly over. As far as her birthday is concerned, sure, acknowledge it with a card (not a mushy one), and an invitation to a nice dinner if she's up for it in the near future.

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

She's asked for space, and I would give it to her; no matter how painful. This gives her the opportunity to miss what you and she had, and want to work at finding solutions, or decide to let you go. You don't want to be in a relationship if it's run its course. And that may be the case. Sometimes a relationship is a work in progress, but sometimes it's a lesson in futility. The pressures of school, and the history you and she have had, led her to this choice. If she wants to try, again, couples counseling would be a good thing. It will either prove that there's something to salvage (and give you tools to help the cause), or it will help you to move on if it's truly over. As far as her birthday is concerned, sure, acknowledge it with a card (not a mushy one), and an invitation to a nice dinner if she's up for it in the near future.