Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend has been depressed lately. I can cheer him up easily in person by pointing out all the good things he has in his life -- and by giving him hugs, kisses and making him laugh by changing the subject to something else, or by snuggling up on the couch and watching Netflix movies with him. That always makes him feel better, but I can't always be with him. I usually only see him once or twice a week. When I'm on the phone with him, or texting, I can say all the same stuff but it doesn't seem to have the same effect. It turns out to be awkward, and he just stays depressed and he won't hardly reply or talk. How can I make conversations less awkward between us? How can I cheer him up 'tele-phonically'?

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

You're taking on too much responsibility in this relationship with him. It's nice to be his cheerleader, but please don't think you can carry a football team on your shoulders! You didn't say why he's depressed, but you can't be his therapist, a parent, nor be used as a never ending source of "up beat" phrases in order to placate him. He has to address his depression, head on, and your efforts are only a Band-aid to his problems. You should not take on the role of holding him up emotionally, only to put yourself in an impossible situation until you, finally, call it quits. If he can't find answers to his problems, he needs to get therapy, or at least see a doctor about getting on an anti-depressant. And because you can't be with him 24/7 to hold him hand, when you talk to him on the phone, I would encourage him to get the help he needs, and avoid babying him.