Dear Miss Emily:

Okay, so I'm only 15, almost 16 years old and I have an opportunity to move out of my home and in with my older cousin to go to school in that town to have a better studying/career path. But the thing is this: I will be leaving my boyfriend behind, and his heart is breaking on the inside just thinking about me leaving and knowing the possiblity might come true in the next 2/3 weeks. He keeps saying that if I move than his life is s going to be s**t. I want to be with him, but I really want to go. He's making this hard but it's not his fault. I would be the same if he moved.  I don't know what to say to him to make him stop hurting or what to do. Any idea? :( I will be 3 hours away but will see him on holidays and a weekend every now and then -- and when my mum comes to visit she will bring him. But it's not enough and we are both going to hurt. I'm hurting because he's hurting, and its my fault he is if I choose to move.

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

There's no question this is hurtful to you both, but the bottom line is this: You'd be missing an opportunity to further your education, while creating a solid foundation for a succcessful career. It's not being selfish, it's being practical about your future, and that should be of paramount concern to you. To stay home could damage your relationship with him out of sheer resentment that you did not seek out the best course of action for you. Matters of the heart are often painful. It's a part of life, and few people go unscathed; however, common sense must trump this relationship for the reasons you stated. Reassure him that visits will be frequent, and this is not the end of the relationship. If the distance were great (rather than three hours), that would be reason for a great deal of despair, but there are ample options to get together. That is what you must make clear to him. This move benefits you, but love can be selfish, and he's thinking about his loss -- and less about your gain.