Dear Miss Emily:

I dated a guy for a while and started getting really close to his son. He was 1 at the time. I only met the kid once...he wanted me to be a mother to his son. I fell in love with his son. We broke up. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 10 months, He is the best thing that has happened to me. I love him. But my ex is still wanting me to be a mother to his son. I feel I should keep the promise, but I don't want it to come between me and my boyfriend. I feel that my ex is just using his son to get to me. What do you think I should do?
-----------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------

"I promise" should, permanently, be removed from everyone's vocabulary, and your situation is an example of why that should be the case. This is a promise you must break. You are happy in your new relationship, and it would add tremendous difficulty to your life. It's almost ludicrous to think about it working out. Move on with your life, and tell your ex to do the same. He will find someone, eventually (hopefully, permanently, for his son's sake), and she will be the new mother of his son. And when he does find this woman, can you imagine how she would feel if you were the designated mother? I shudder to think about the fallout from that! That boy does not need the confusion in his life, nor any stress resulting from two dueling mommies. No, tell your ex it's not possible, and the legitimate reasons why. He'll get over it. We often make promises in the heat of the moment. For you, lesson learned.