Keeping A Distance From Troubled Relative
- By Miss Emily
- Published 12/28/2011
- General
Dear Miss Emily:
Years ago my husband and I took in a great niece as a foster child, as she had been abandoned by her Mom. She lied and stole from us, and accused our 11 year old son of molesting her. She ran away and the entire extended family knew where she was but lied to us, and the police. Years went by, and she and a baby that was removed for neglect. She was convicted of attempted murder and spent 8 years in prison. She had another baby, went back to prison for 8 months, got out and is pregnant again. That is the background. So my immediate family (husband and 2 sons) have no desire to associate with this person. Her grandmother (husband's sister) throws a fit every Christmas because we won't 'let it go'. Are we wrong to stay away from these people. Now she (the Grandma) is posting nasty remarks on facebook. I just need your opinion. Thanks
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
No, you are absolutely right in staying away from her. You paid your dues by offering help, but it didn't work out. I feel for her having a lousy upbringing that had her mother tossing her out like garbage -- but she has made no improvements in her life, and your family could be in danger were you to let her back in. If her granny is writing nasty Facebook messages about your family, that's a small price to pay for staying free of this woman and the horror she could bring to your lives. Your husband's sister can twist herself into a pretzel for all you should care. Letting it go is not an option in a situation of this magnitude. She was in prison for attempted murder! If she ever turns her life around, that's the only time you should reconsider your position. Hope springs eternal, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for a radical change in her life to occur. I'm afraid you'd pass out before that happened!
Years ago my husband and I took in a great niece as a foster child, as she had been abandoned by her Mom. She lied and stole from us, and accused our 11 year old son of molesting her. She ran away and the entire extended family knew where she was but lied to us, and the police. Years went by, and she and a baby that was removed for neglect. She was convicted of attempted murder and spent 8 years in prison. She had another baby, went back to prison for 8 months, got out and is pregnant again. That is the background. So my immediate family (husband and 2 sons) have no desire to associate with this person. Her grandmother (husband's sister) throws a fit every Christmas because we won't 'let it go'. Are we wrong to stay away from these people. Now she (the Grandma) is posting nasty remarks on facebook. I just need your opinion. Thanks
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
No, you are absolutely right in staying away from her. You paid your dues by offering help, but it didn't work out. I feel for her having a lousy upbringing that had her mother tossing her out like garbage -- but she has made no improvements in her life, and your family could be in danger were you to let her back in. If her granny is writing nasty Facebook messages about your family, that's a small price to pay for staying free of this woman and the horror she could bring to your lives. Your husband's sister can twist herself into a pretzel for all you should care. Letting it go is not an option in a situation of this magnitude. She was in prison for attempted murder! If she ever turns her life around, that's the only time you should reconsider your position. Hope springs eternal, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for a radical change in her life to occur. I'm afraid you'd pass out before that happened!
