Dear Miss Emily:

Concerning relationships, I'm not sure how to handle my current predicament. My boyfriend is loving, supportive, genuine, considerate, sweet, and everything anyone would want in a relationship. However, despite that I love him, I don't believe that we have 'chemistry.' It's not like we started with chemistry and it just fizzled out; it was never there to begin with. Though he's amazing, I find our relationship lackluster as a result. I've been debating with myself whether or not chemistry is as necessary a component in a relationship as say, honesty or communication. Can I continue this relationship without it, or will it just magically appear one day? There's also another issue, though. He often gets these emotional breakdowns and becomes semi-suicidal, but he's never acted upon his words. Recently, however, he had a really bad one and when I tried to stop him from hurting himself, he put his hands on my neck, but didn't squeeze. Then he let go and started crying, saying that he couldn't possibly hurt me. I realize he needs help, but is this incident considered a red flag and do I need to get out of it? Even though he wasn't fully himself when he did it, I wasn't afraid at all. Advice?

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

I think you need to get out of this relationship for the two reasons you mentioned. Chemistry is important. He may have many good components to him, but you want the chemistry to drive the engine. The fact he put his hands around your neck has me really concerned, and it should you, as well. You didn't mention your ages, but this could escalate. Talk of suicide, and emotional breakdowns that lead to this behavior are serious issues! He's more like a kind brother, with issues, than a boyfriend. You're not a missionary, a sister, nor a therapist. and unless those are roles you want to  play in this relationship, it's best to end it.