Dear Miss Emily:

Me and my boyfriend met a year and a half ago, and about two months into our relationship, I became pregnant. When I was around 4 months into my pregnancy, he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend, who he was with before he got with me. I caught him by going through his phone, and he had been texting her. He begged for me to forgive him, and for our child's sake, I decided to give him a second chance. But I always felt like I couldn't trust him fully. I would always feel the need to go through his phone all the time, and each time I would find him texting random women. Then after he told me he would leave his ex alone, I found him talking to her again through texts. I took him back once again, and after that, everything between us were good. Through out the rest of my pregnancy our relationship was going great. But a couple of months after I had my daughter, I found text messages between him and a women who he works with. I found out that she was the same girl had given him rides home a few times. He told me she was a friend, but the texts between them told me differently. She texts him she loves him almost all the time, and one time he had even wrote it. back. I comfronted him and he told me that he has known her for four years and that he slept with her once, but he has no feelings for her. He said she loves him, but he only said it that time because he felt bad. Still till this day he continues to text her, but he's always home with me and my daughter, and after work he comes straight home. But I still can't trust him, especially when he's always texting this one woman. A part of me feels like if he's not doing anything physically with her, then should I just let it go? Or is it wrong to allow him to continue to talk with this lady?

-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------

Under the circumstances, getting pregnant two months out the gate, you and he never really had a chance to see if this relationship was going to stay together out of want, rather than out of obligation. He isn't mature, and he doesn't seem to think you have to set boundaries with female friends. In a committed relationship, this woman should not be a priority to him. Saying "I love you" out of feeling sorry for her is B S to my way of thinking. He makes it look as if he's being kind to a charity case -- an altruist -- rather than wanting this relationship with her. Absurd! I think he lives in two worlds. The one he has with you, and the one he wishes he had if he weren't with you. I can't say whether you can trust him just because he's home with you and the baby. If his heart is in two different places, what he does tomorrow is unpredictable. But face it as it comes along. You and he went about this relationship backward, and you know it. The commitment is supposed to come first, then the baby, to feel even the slightest security that it can last for the long-haul. There are no guarantees in any relationship, but this one started out with a bigger issue (getting pregnant) and that superseded all else. I am sure your daughter is lovely, and that's your real priority now. If, ultimately, he's not faithful to you, you have a daughter who needs you. That's your higher calling whether he's in your life, or not.