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Pregnant And Alone
- By Miss Emily
- Published 12/10/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I am 20 - soon to be 21 in January. I recently found out that I am two weeks pregnant! My ex, who is the baby's farther wants nothing to do w/ the pregnancy, and it's emotionally draining me. He has not been there for me emotionally since I've spoken to him about the pregnancy. He has repeatedly requested an abortion! When he found out that was his first question : "You are going to abort?" I never expected this kind of behavior from him. We have been broken up for 3 weeks or so, way before I found out I was having his baby. He is only 19, and I understand he is scared but was his reaction human? I know his parents, especially his mother has a big impact on his reaction. I can't help to wonder if I am doing the right thing by NOT going through with an abortion. I have had an abortion once before, and I can't bare of going through that loss once more. Am I being selfish? Help me!
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
It takes two to get pregnant, and if he knew you weren't using birth control, and he wasn't using a condom, he had to know this sort of thing easily happens. And I am sure you didn't do it to trap him, right? His reaction is quite common because he's not ready to have a child, and he doesn't, apparently, want one with you. Having an abortion is an individual choice, but having the baby does not insure he will be a father to your child. There is no law, that I know, which forces a father to be a father -- but only to help support his child. He may not have any means of helping you financially, however, but if he gets a job, and you have filed for child support with the court, it will garnish his wages if he can tracked down. Having a pregnancy alone is no fun. And being a single parent is harder yet. Of course, the ideal circumstance would be to have the support you want from him and this to work out with a happy ending. Unfortunately, that's probably not going to be a reality for you. If you decide to have this baby, know that it's a rough road ahead. Your child does not deserve a lousy parent, and if you decide to keep this child, you had better be willing to step-up-to-the-plate and be the best parent you can be. This baby must be your top priority! I wish you all the luck in the world.
I am 20 - soon to be 21 in January. I recently found out that I am two weeks pregnant! My ex, who is the baby's farther wants nothing to do w/ the pregnancy, and it's emotionally draining me. He has not been there for me emotionally since I've spoken to him about the pregnancy. He has repeatedly requested an abortion! When he found out that was his first question : "You are going to abort?" I never expected this kind of behavior from him. We have been broken up for 3 weeks or so, way before I found out I was having his baby. He is only 19, and I understand he is scared but was his reaction human? I know his parents, especially his mother has a big impact on his reaction. I can't help to wonder if I am doing the right thing by NOT going through with an abortion. I have had an abortion once before, and I can't bare of going through that loss once more. Am I being selfish? Help me!
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
It takes two to get pregnant, and if he knew you weren't using birth control, and he wasn't using a condom, he had to know this sort of thing easily happens. And I am sure you didn't do it to trap him, right? His reaction is quite common because he's not ready to have a child, and he doesn't, apparently, want one with you. Having an abortion is an individual choice, but having the baby does not insure he will be a father to your child. There is no law, that I know, which forces a father to be a father -- but only to help support his child. He may not have any means of helping you financially, however, but if he gets a job, and you have filed for child support with the court, it will garnish his wages if he can tracked down. Having a pregnancy alone is no fun. And being a single parent is harder yet. Of course, the ideal circumstance would be to have the support you want from him and this to work out with a happy ending. Unfortunately, that's probably not going to be a reality for you. If you decide to have this baby, know that it's a rough road ahead. Your child does not deserve a lousy parent, and if you decide to keep this child, you had better be willing to step-up-to-the-plate and be the best parent you can be. This baby must be your top priority! I wish you all the luck in the world.
