Dear Emily,
Well,
I've messaged you before and you were great help so I thought I'd give
it another go. It seems as I'm in need of help once more. Okay, for the past 3
months, this guy and I, who used to be one of my good friends, have been
on and off. About a month and a half ago, I slept with him -- but he is
known to have a reputation as a player so I
haven't
done anything at all with him since. And he hasn't touched another girl
since then either; which he normally has about 4 girls at a time on his
arm. Things have been going up and down. We've had little fall outs
over being
confused about what's going on between us and, today, he told my best
friend he falls for me and loves me so much through text, but wishes I
were different in person. I can admit to being shy, but I don't see how
much more I can try. I always start the conversation, I always plan to
meet up. And today we spent a fair 2 hours wrestling and rolling around,
pecking on the lips at a park, yet he still wants me to be even more
cute -- plus all that mucking around! His a good guy, but he does have a
reputation. Should I risk it, I need help?!
---------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------
He's got
to like you as much in person as he does in texts, my sweet. He
doesn't seem all that girlfriend oriented, and I don't know whether it's
worth you putting too much more time into this so- called relationship
if you are interested in actually dating him.
I think the kind of guy who is used to having four girls on his arm, is
the kind of guy who should be shown that you're not going to become one
of his "groupies". Most guys love a challenge, and I think it's worth
you showing him you can get along fine without him. In other words,
don't be too attentive, and don't be too available. Show him you have a
life, and
plenty to do in it. It's not game playing, as much as it being the truth.
If he doesn't respond with a major effort, you have your answer as to
how serious he is about taking this relationship beyond that one
hook-up, and tumbling in the park. I think he's a commitment shy kind a
guy, because he's having too much fun being that kind of guy. But time will tell on that score. Be who you are, and do not think you have to change to fit his idea of who you should be.
