Dear Miss Emily:

Okay, so I have known this girl for about 10 years. We've been good friends ,or whatever, but she had a boyfriend and they dated for 2 1/2 years. It broke up, and it was pretty bad. But for the past five months she and I have been practically dating. We hang out all week, hookup and other stuff. Her ex bf left for college. I recently found out that she drove to his school in the middle of the night, twice, last week to see him. We all know what they did! So I basically told her to "eff" off. But then she tells me that I'm changing her, and making her get over her ex and how she really likes me and wants to be with me. She sends me pictures of her crying, and everything. I really like this girl. But I just don't know if that's forgivable. HELP

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------

Right now, this little gal's turned into a drama queen! She isn't over her boyfriend, she's crying a lot (for many reasons), and tells you you're the one who can fix the desire she has to be with her ex. Sorry. That's not how it works. You want a healthy relationship, free of an ex lingering in the wings, waiting for the right moment to fly in like Count Dracula. You were right to tell her to "eff" off; although I think you could have been more diplomatic! Don't do hook ups, nor fall pray to her neediness. She has to prove she's over her ex, and she hasn't done that by making middle of the night bedroom visits. It will take time, if it happens at all. Protect your heart, first and foremost.