Hello Miss Emily,

I have been in a relationship with a girl for over 2 years and I don't know if I want to be with her anymore. We have been through so much, but I don't know if I'm really into the relationship anymore. Plus, I'm going to college next year and I don't think that our relationship could make it through that. However, I don't know what life would be like without her, and she really was my first love. To throw another wrench in the mix, there is this other girl that I really like who has been hardcore flirting with me a lot. but I don't know if she wants to be with me.  I don't want to break up with my girlfriend over another girl, but this new girl is amazing. I'm so confused. Can you shed any light on what I can do?

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------

It's really a matter of who you decide you want to control your life. If you let the will of others dictate it, you won't be happy, and you will never truly feel free. I know, this girl was your first love, and you've had first shared experiences, but in any relationship you have, you will have intense experiences together if you have strong feelings for that person. You have developed a close bond with each other because of those firsts, but that fact is not a reason to stay in a relationship that has, more than likely, run its course. Relationships stay together, or they don't. In many respects, the right girl comes along when it's the right time in your life to ever consider "forever". You're going to college next year, and a whole new world is going to open up to you. These types of long distance relationships are very hard to maintain, and I know because I get many letters from teens who are going through it. It's best to learn, now, that there are going to be people you may hurt in your life in order to be true to yourself. This is a test for you, and a hard one. But once you get through this, it will be a tremendous relief for you, and you will learn something about life along the way. There's no easy way to break up with someone (if that's what you decide is the right thing for you), and it's best to be honest about your feelings. She will be angry, hurt, probably beg you to reconsider, and no telling what else she will do to express her feelings of loss. However, to be held hostage to a relationship that is no longer working for you is a drain to you emotionally, prolongs the inevitable -- and if she were realistic about it, she would not want to be with you if you are not in this for all the right reasons.