Dear Miss Emily,

I am your average teenager. I play soccer. It's my life, I excel at school, and I usually have no time for boys. But a few weeks ago I started talking to this kid who was a friend of one of my best friends, and he is in a few of my classes. It was friendly, and  he asked for my help on homework and stuff. But last week it was different. He would always stare at me like pretending to be mad at me and tease me, and we always just stared at each other and I made him laugh and he made me laugh. He would want to be in my group in class and it was just really nice. I found out a lot about him. And when he saw me in the halls, he'd step on the back of my shoes and I would do it to him too and it was like an everyday thing. Then at lunch, he wasn't where he usually stands he was in a different group that was really close to mine; which he never does. I thought, wow, this could be the start of something awesome. Then the weekend passed and everything was the same until two days ago. I thought maybe it was just a bad day, but he walked in and stared but, then, he barely talked to me the rest of the entire day. I was like, okay, whatever. Then the same thing the next day.  Today he said maybe one or two things. He stared a little, but nothing like before. He's not a player, and really doesn't flirt with a lot of girls, He is kind of shy, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to annoy him, but I don't think there was nothing between us. There was chemistry! I just don't know what to do. Help!

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

It might be that you've gotten yourself into a situation with a boy who doesn't know how to handle his interest in you. Now I, too, think you should take into account that something might have happened to him, personally, that was reflected in his behavior the last two days -- but it's also possible he's incapable of taking this relationship to a greater level. I get many letters from teen girls who tell me the same thing -- the guy sends out these messages of interest, but ends up withdrawing because he's shy and, therefore, afraid. If it were a simple friendship he wanted, I don't think he would behave this erratically. No telling what kind of a struggle he's going through, mentally, but perhaps he wants you to make a move. If you're interested in him, and you think he's worth trying to get past his awkward way of dealing with this relationship, continue to be outgoing, relaxed and friendly with him and see if he can get past these mixed messages he's sending. Teen boys do not have all the answers when it comes to girls. Fear often rules their behavior. But, please, if he continues to behave this way after you have reached out to him in friendship (with a desire to have it go further), don't internalize it. This would be his struggle, and his alone, and nothing you have done to provoke it.