Ex-wife Is A Troublemaker
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/18/2011
- General
Dear Miss Emily:
My husband's other daughter just had an accident and her arm is broken and she is at home. Her mother has been calling here a lot since this has happened. And my husband is really bitter towards her. And today she called. My husband was gone and she asked to talk to my daughter -- and when I went to give my daughter the phone she hung up. This is annoying, I didn't like it to say the least. Is it good for her to be talking to my daughter? And my daughter has had some trouble with her stepsister, but they use to get along but now they don't!!! But my husband doesn't like his ex, or so he says!! She and his daughter live out of state, and he's planning a trip to stay with his daughter for a few days, And his daughter and ex said not to bring my daughter with him, but now they want to talk to her. What do you think? Do you think we should talk to them? My daughter's stepsister has told her a lot about my husband, and it's not all been good either. One day, my husband said to me you have nothing to discuss with my ex. Anyway, what do you think about this bunch of weird people? And they do act weird!!!! No one wants to get along, and this is uncomfortable for me. Thank you for your time.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
I am so sorry for you, because you and your daughter are caught in the middle of this by no fault of your own. I think your husband is angry toward his ex because she's a manipulative, controlling woman -- and he certainly doesn't want you talking about him with her. Ex's rarely speak well of each other. And if anyone is bitter, it's her! This is so typical in these circumstances, and one huge problem is that this woman disparages your husband to their child. Now she (manipulated by her mother) passes this information on to your daughter about their father. I feel for this girl who has a mother who thinks her daughter is a pawn in her game. I see little reason why your husband would not be honest about his feelings for his ex. It seems to me, unless he's a master of deception, that he barely tolerates this woman -- but must for his daughters' sake. The thing you need to do is remove yourself from this woman's controlling behavior, and set boundaries. Keep out of it, and let your husband handle her. It's his ex, not yours, and it's best to remember that. Support him in his quest, but do not be party to it. It's good she lives in another state, and not down the street. Be grateful for that!!!!! If she calls, don't answer the phone when your husband's not there. Tell your daughter she's within her right to tell her stepsister that she doesn't want to hear negative things about her dad. She loves him, and that's it. Your daughter does not need to be a victim of her father's ex. Monitor your step-daughter's visits, and let you daughter know she can come to you when anything doesn't seem right between them. You're the boss, in my book. You don't have to be mean, or petty to this little girl, you only need be kind, but firm. Get to know her as a person, rather than the spawn of a nasty woman and your husband -- who I hope is a decent man, is good to you, and you love each other. Again, her mother has used her daughter as a tool to spread her anger, and she is not to blame. Take the high road, and try to avoid suspicion about this trip that your husband's taking to see his daughter. His ex does seem like a troublemaker, and you don't want to get down to her level. Support him, stay calm, and don't court trouble with your husband unless you know there really is something amiss.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
I am so sorry for you, because you and your daughter are caught in the middle of this by no fault of your own. I think your husband is angry toward his ex because she's a manipulative, controlling woman -- and he certainly doesn't want you talking about him with her. Ex's rarely speak well of each other. And if anyone is bitter, it's her! This is so typical in these circumstances, and one huge problem is that this woman disparages your husband to their child. Now she (manipulated by her mother) passes this information on to your daughter about their father. I feel for this girl who has a mother who thinks her daughter is a pawn in her game. I see little reason why your husband would not be honest about his feelings for his ex. It seems to me, unless he's a master of deception, that he barely tolerates this woman -- but must for his daughters' sake. The thing you need to do is remove yourself from this woman's controlling behavior, and set boundaries. Keep out of it, and let your husband handle her. It's his ex, not yours, and it's best to remember that. Support him in his quest, but do not be party to it. It's good she lives in another state, and not down the street. Be grateful for that!!!!! If she calls, don't answer the phone when your husband's not there. Tell your daughter she's within her right to tell her stepsister that she doesn't want to hear negative things about her dad. She loves him, and that's it. Your daughter does not need to be a victim of her father's ex. Monitor your step-daughter's visits, and let you daughter know she can come to you when anything doesn't seem right between them. You're the boss, in my book. You don't have to be mean, or petty to this little girl, you only need be kind, but firm. Get to know her as a person, rather than the spawn of a nasty woman and your husband -- who I hope is a decent man, is good to you, and you love each other. Again, her mother has used her daughter as a tool to spread her anger, and she is not to blame. Take the high road, and try to avoid suspicion about this trip that your husband's taking to see his daughter. His ex does seem like a troublemaker, and you don't want to get down to her level. Support him, stay calm, and don't court trouble with your husband unless you know there really is something amiss.
