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Return To Ex Breaks This Man's Heart
- By Miss Emily
- Published 11/15/2011
- Relationships - Men
Dear Miss Emily:
So I met "Irene" back in Feb. of 2008. We worked in the same building. We hit it off really well, and jumped into a relationship too fast. Long story short, it didnt work out and we didnt speak for about a year after that. We buried the hatchet and became really close friends. We both acknowledged that we are still very attracted to each other and care for one another, but it was decided we stay friends because she was in a relationship. She broke up with him, and a few months later we began hanging out, again, and had a great weekend together. We realized what a good couple we'd make but decided to take things slow because she felt that she wasnt ready to be in another relationship. A month later, she calls and apologizes to me because she got back with her ex. She admits that she feels really bad and uneasy about this. I cant help but be hurt but, at the same time, we werent in a relationship so I'm not mad at her. I just know I'm inlove with her, and I really wanted to take care of her. I've never felt like this for anyone before, and it seemed like it would be so perfect. So now I feel lost because I cared so much for her. My problem is: I know I can't just be her friend anymore, and I know that's what she wants because of what we have. At the same time, I dont want to walk away from what we have either. What advice can you give me?
----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
I think you have to walk away from what you had, because you don't have that anymore. And that's really the only way she's going to decide what she really wants. A re-do with her ex may not work, as so many of them often don't, and you want to be the man she yearns for -- but only if you aren't in the picture. It's not playing games. Why pretend you can be friends when you want more? Why not just throw your heart in the blender, hit frappe, and save yourself the trouble? No, as painful as this is, you need to walk away. Let her know you will be there, within a reasonable amount of time, if she wants a relationship that works for both of you. You're not abandoning her, you only want to show you're a self-confident man who will not take crumbs. You want the whole loaf of bread, and if it's not in the offing, so be it. But you will suffer, emotionally, if you meet her behind this man's back -- only for her to have the best of both worlds -- or so she may think. Again, re-do relationships with an ex often don't work out, but only time will tell on that score.
----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------
I think you have to walk away from what you had, because you don't have that anymore. And that's really the only way she's going to decide what she really wants. A re-do with her ex may not work, as so many of them often don't, and you want to be the man she yearns for -- but only if you aren't in the picture. It's not playing games. Why pretend you can be friends when you want more? Why not just throw your heart in the blender, hit frappe, and save yourself the trouble? No, as painful as this is, you need to walk away. Let her know you will be there, within a reasonable amount of time, if she wants a relationship that works for both of you. You're not abandoning her, you only want to show you're a self-confident man who will not take crumbs. You want the whole loaf of bread, and if it's not in the offing, so be it. But you will suffer, emotionally, if you meet her behind this man's back -- only for her to have the best of both worlds -- or so she may think. Again, re-do relationships with an ex often don't work out, but only time will tell on that score.
