Dear Miss Emily:

I'm having trouble with a male friend of mine. My fiance already doesn't like him, because this man is flirtatious. We also discovered that he has, quite recently, made moves on an engaged female friend of mine. He offered for her to cheat on her fiance with him. We'll call this guy "Max." Well, the problem is that I've never really had a problem with this guy besides him flirting with me. We get along really well, I like to talk to him, and we have a lot in common, personality-wise. The problem is, I don't know him all that well, and my fiance feels that Max's motives are questionable, and his advances to my female friend were met with a forceful smack to the face due to the aggressiveness of his approach. My heart is telling me to give him a chance since he hasn't wronged me. But my head is telling me to watch out. I'm having a hard time listening to either.
What should I do?

---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

I don't think this friend is being respectful to you, your friend, or the fiances. Maybe he's a big joker, but it seems to me he thinks he's a lady's man and women can't resist him, no matter their commitment to other men. Legend in his own mind? Probably. You could have an earnest talk with him about his behavior, but is his friendship worth having to try to sell Max on your fiance? Your guy already has an opinion of him, and that may be next to impossible to change. Your fiance seems like a gentleman, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was a little jealous too. But even if that were the case, he certainly has reason to not like this guy based on his audacity. I tend to think when there's a problem like this, despite you liking this guy in terms of common interests and chatting capabilities, it's best to start to distance yourself from him. Otherwise, you're going to have to start seeing him in private, because your fiance isn't going to sanction it, and your female engaged friend put her hand print on his face! (I would suspect she's done with him). And you don't want that deception. I think it's perfectly fine for couples to have friends of the opposite sex, as long as everyone is included. But in order to maintain those relationships, they have to be respectful and not have even a hint of ulterior motive. You have a life ahead of you with your fiance, and that's what is most important.