Dear Miss Emily:
 I am 39 years old, and since I was a teenager I've heard females say that I think I'm better than everyone else. I would dismiss it as nonsense, except that it keeps coming back and they can't all be wrong. The way I carry myself has always been attractive to men, but an affront to some women. The solution seems simple, but how do you go about life pretending to have lower self esteem so as not to offend?

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

There's an old saying (to paraphrase), "When one person calls you an ass, dismiss it. When two people call you an ass, go buy the saddle." I am not telling you you're an ass, of course, but you know what I'm trying to say. I am fully aware that there are some women who get terribly jealous of those women who do have all the goods, so to speak. A woman who is pretty, gets the guys, and seems so self-confident, often becomes a threat to them. That, of course, is their problem, and that is when the victim needs to lose those friends like a bad rash. But there's also something to be said about humility, and therein lies the fine line. In no way should you have to alter your personality (become meek) in order to accommodate those who are insecure and don't have your charisma and charm. But if your personality borders on arrogance, that's when you want to tone it down. People gravitate to those who are self-confident, but are quick to rip them to shreds if they flaunt it. You aren't going to be able to give these women something you have, and if they resent you for it, that's their problem. But if many people have said that you come off haughty and act as if you're better than anyone else, take a look at that. You know if you're trying to be the "wow factor" in any given situation and not considering others feelings. And you know if you choose friends who cannot compete with you to inflate a fragile side of your ego.